Season 30, Week 5
Lede
(Final Fantasy Tactics)
 
Child's play. A walk in the park. Just... pathetically easy. The entire season has been a cakewalk for the sexy Assassin-demon Lede - but this is just the most prominent sign of her prowess in murder, thus, it's all predictable. And for, perhaps, the easiest battle of all, the idiot Chosen steps forward. And though Stop Bracelet or Shadow Stitch or even her trusty blade could all cut Zelos down before a blink, they probably won't be necessary. After all, is Zelos not known for his weakness for the fairer sex? And is Lede not a vision of feminine perfection? No matter: be it blade or curse or wiles, Zelos will fall, and Lede will stand triumphant at long last.

V

S

Ah, the finals. Was there ever any doubt that the magnificent Chosen would end up here? Zelos knows there isn't, and the gift of gifts he receives: a beautiful assassin - and he knows just how to handle beautiful assassins. Crank up the charm, strut his stuff, maybe show off a little of that dazzling magic and swordplay, and he’ll have Lede eating out of the palm of his hand in no time. After all, what woman could possibly bring them self to mess up this handsome face? Even before this charming man's shining swordskills, this match is already won. Season XXX will forever be remembered as the season of Zelos Wilder, mark these words!


SageAcrin
Life had been good to Zelos. Mostly.

He'd gotten a match in the season he was born to fight in, Season XXX.

With incredible haste, he had quickly tracked down his mojo(Still held by one remarkably-popular-with-the-ladies-for-no-reason-he-could-understand Guido Mogay.), had himself transformed back into the hot, awesome lady's man he truly was, and fought and...fought his way to the top.

That was the problem.

Fought.

All these hot hunnies, these lucious ladies, and he...had killed two ugly men and slashed down one cute girl.

He hadn't had a chance to show his true charms to the world.

But now, here, was his chance!

A cold, yet beautiful, assassin! Someone his incredible masculine charms could thaw! He'd never met a woman he couldn't crack, and this wouldn't be the first.

---

*Four days before the match.*

Two people stared at each other warily across their table at the Cuisine de Chocobo.

Anyone who happened to notice the two of them may have seen what was coming. But, then, they may not. Regardless, a fate was sealed when these two sat down at the same table.

"A propsal?"

"Certainly. You aid me in this, and my organization will help you in whatever you wish. Once. And no more."

"Hmmm. I'm listening."

*Four days later.*

Zelos walked into the arena with the cocky stride that made women swoon. He was in fine form, his flowing locks blowing in the wind, his graceful pace bringing cheers from the more shallow women in the crowd.

Then Lede entered the arena.

Wearing lingerie.

The crowd was stunned silent. Lede? A cold-blooded near-demon assassin? Wearing scanty clothes?

Zelos was unphased.

"Ooooooh, hunny. You knew I was going to be here, so you decided to distract me with your brilliant physique? I'm impressed, most women aren't that clever." Zelos said, grinning. He knew this was going to work.

Lede smiled slightly, walked up to Zelos, and kissed the hell out of him.

As Zelos embraced her, she whispered one simple sentence.

"My master has told me to crush you completely. He has given me a second chance after being forced to combat him, and I will not fail."

Zelos wasn't given time to respond, as Lede kissed him again, more passionately.

Then turned into her Ultima Demon form.

Still wearing lingerie.

Still kissing him. In a powerful embrace he could not break.

As he struggled, magical energy encircled one of Lede's hands, as she plunged it into Zelos' chest.

Wresting his mojo from him once again.

"You won't be needing this." Lede added, as Zelos crumpled to the ground, stunned.

"Or that." She finished, chanting the spell that would turn Zelos into a woman. "Now, to find Elmdor and see if this is enough to allow me to return to his service." She said coolly, as she walked out of the arena.

Oblivious to the dozens of males still retching due to the sight of an Ultima Demon french kissing a man.

---

"Very good, Lede." Elmdor said, nodding. "I believe this is what you wanted?"

"More." Yuiri said. "Zelos is in therapy; Maybe in a few months, he'll stop claiming he's Maya Schrodinger. I have the mojo to hold over his head when he does. And not only have I paid him back for his hitting on my clansmembers, but also for treating me as an afterthought in battle. Having to aid you at some point is a small price to pay." She finished, smiling.

"Very well. Now leave." Elmdor said.

"...fine." Yuiri finished.

As she left, she laughed. "Now, to go about ridding the world of a foolish Marquis. Alma Kinnan would never help that fool, but double-crossing evil in order to defeat evil seems pretty reasonable." She set about tracking down the one person that could aid her easily.

---

"...What!? No! Stay away!" Elmdor said, backing away.

"...Master Elmdor?" Lede said, showing a slight trace of emotion-puzzlement-for the first time in years. "What is wrong?"

"You...wearing..." Elmdor, unable to handle the horror anymore, passed out.

"...Yuiri said to come here as quickly as possible, in order to more quickly follow your orders, so I did." The Ultima Demon looked down at her(?) lingerie-clad form. "Now I see that she had another agenda."

Lede smiled slightly-a fearsome sight on a demon. "Of course, I have no objections to it. After all, disposing of my master means Celia and I will be our own masters, once more..."

Lede: 56
Zelos Wilder: 36

Namagomi
And so, Lede, in a manner similar to Ash Lambert and the more recent Nina-II, just so happens to get an easy tournament.

...Forget it. Rely on someone else for sexual innuendo for Season XXX.

SuperSmash Master
I'm gonna play my "Zelos sucks and should die" card once more. How he made it this far is beyond me.

Alanna82
Feena should have beaten Zelos. Lede Luckily can avenge her by killing Zelos in one hit. Thats what you get Zelos for robbing the best Heavy in the DL.

0.0
Zelos deals with Lede in his usual manner. Comboing her to prevent her from using her ID, and continue till she dies. Her HP won't last much of that

BWA
Allowing Zelos his boss form gives him the edge.