Season 30, Week 4
Ted
(Suikoden IV)
 
From she who casts Death to she who brings death. If Ted didn't know better, he'd think that fate is trying to tell him something. Well, even if it is, he won't let it slow his return to Godlike. Lede is a deadly opponent, capable of crippling or killing her foes with a single strike. However, she shares a weakness that all who face Ted possess: She can't do much once the Soul Eater has its way with her. It's a quick-draw match that Ted does not intend to lose and he will pass Judgement on his opponent before she so much as lays a finger on him. After all, what is a mere assassin to the True Rune of life and death itself?

V

S

After suffocating her fellow death-dealer with a fangirl glomp, Lede will now find time to revert to her usual nature and suffocate him the good ol'-fashioned way. Stop Bracelet will certainly help there. As will Seal; statues have been observed to have difficulty using their lungs, after all. Victory for the highly skilled Assassin is assured if she can strike first, and as many a poorly-prepared warrior has discovered on the roof of Riovanes Castle, outspeeding an Assassin is not an easy task. Ted's rune may allow him to be judge and jury when it comes to life and death, but even he is powerless before an executioner.


Sei
Ted couldn't believe it. After years of disappointment and mockery, after months of training, after weeks of winning one difficult match after another...

...he was beaten.

And easily at that.

By a girl in an exotic dancer's outfit.

Through instant death, something his Soul Eater should have specialized in.

Needless to say, the bot so young True Rune bearer was feeling quite emasculated right now.

No, Ted was not going to stand for this. It was one thing to be get smacked around by evil trees. It was quite another thing to be done in as well by... by...

"LEEEEEEEEDE!" Ted screamed, as he rose to his feet and dramatically pointed a manly finger at the celebrating woman. "I taunt at your general direction you little slut! You may have defeated my body in battle, but I say to you, you have not defeated my heart!" The archer ranted as veins started sticking out from his head, neck, and biceps.

Hearing this, Lede faced Ted with a smirk on her face, and raising her hand up to her mouth, she let out a roaring bitch laugh "O~HOHOHOHOHOHO~! Silly boy! I have crushed your fighting style completely! What more is there for me to prove, you big fat poopie head?" She responded, punctuating her point with a raspberry.

Ted chuckled at this, then roared out his sentiments. "HA HA HA HA HA! And an additional HA to you, you stupid girl! How little you know of a man's soul! Defeating me in battle is only half of the battle! No.. for you to completely dominate me, you'll need to defeat me as the lord of DANCE!"

With that declaration, Ted ripped off his clothes, revealing tight leather pants, leather boots, a black cap, a leather vest with a sheriff badge on it, and nothing else. The crowd gasped in response.

"Hah! If that is what is needed to destroy you, then I accept your challenge!" And Lede removed her clothes, revealing an sailor suit underneath. In the Japanese schoolgirl fetish sense, complete with white blouse, red neckerchief, and short tartan skirt.

No sooner had these two done their costume changes did the entire arena grow dark, and a large disco ball lowered from the ceiling. Multi-colored laser lights flashed very which way in a dizzying pattern as the first strings of music began.

Young man, there's no need to feel down.
I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground.
I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town
There's no need to be unhappy.

And as the song continued, the duelists in the stands ripped off their clothes as well, revealing similarly colorful outfits underneath. Fou Lu's bare chest glistened as he danced in his construction worker vest, while Sephiroth, in a police man costume similar to Ted sans top, grooved under the lights. The well-oiled body of Ryu3 was well-emphasized by his brown vest, loin cloth and moccasins combo, and Ghaleon showed that females are not the only ones who could make the sailor-themed Japanese school uniform look hot as he showed off a more revealing version of his magical girl outfit.

And down in the ring, oblivious to all, Ted and Lede danced like they have never danced before as Mewtwo in his backwards baseball cap, long tee, and ice worked the music.

"Y! M! C! A!"

---

Meanwhile, in a pocket dimension one short space manipulation away, two figures watched the events as they sighed/cackled madly while typing on a keyboard.

"Luther, you're a suicidal loony." The sighing figure said as she rubbed her glowing forehead with a glowing hand. "You know they're going to draw and quarter and slice and dice and tar and feather and ressurect and chibi-size you before sending you to Albedo and Brahne for a week of molestation and sodomy once they figure out you did this, right?"

"I don't care, Belial." Luther, the slowly typing Godlike programmer responded. "Take this long to get me into the DL, will they? Delay me just because I'm not photogenic, will they!? Well, I'll show them if my name is not Gabri- Indale- dammit! Luther! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!"

Belial just shook her head in disgust while maintaining the pocket dimension. Well, at least she and Scythe now have tickets to Gemety.

Ted: 36
Lede: 49