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Zelos Wilder (Tales of Symphonia) |
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The Tethe'allan wonder has proven that it'll take more than an ugly old vampire to keep him from reaching the gorgeous women at the apex of Season XXX! But this week the lecherous Vigoro has set his sights on the beautiful women of the RPGDL, and there's only room for one real man here! So Zelos is ready to give it his all and get those beautiful babes for himself! Thankfully, there's no finer womanizer in all the world to take down a perverted beast of a man like Vigoro. Armed with the sacred Last Fencer, Zelos has nothing to fear, as each slash and thrust carries enough power to down Vigoro in an instant. With his healing spells preventing lasting damage from Vigoro's powerful cannon fire, the sexy Chosen is more than capable of stopping this lecherous monster and acquiring that bevy of beautiful babes for himself. |
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How did this pampered brat Zelos even make it out of the eliminations? Admiral Vigoro is better than him in every way: sexiness, skill with the ladies, success in life, and, of course, combat ability. And sexiness. Zelos's noodle-armed sword slashes can't possibly compare to Vigoro's big, manly cannon. Zelos's scrawny, girly body can't withstand nearly as much punishment as Vigoro's muscular, studly frame. And Zelos's terrible magic abilities are, as always, a complete non-factor, unable to frighten even the smallest child. Yes, after defeating this horrible excuse for a chosen one, Vigoro will not only be one step closer to his rightful place back in Godlike, but will also have every pretty lady who ever paid attention to Zelos hanging all over him instead. A long-haired, spoiled prettyboy will never be a match for a REAL man. |
Lance Come on now. You have two of the biggest playas in RPG history going head-to-head, and you actually expect them to fight each other? But...but that can't happen. What if Vigoro blasts Zelos in his beautiful face? What if Zelos messes up Vigoro's hair? No, a fight was out of the question. Instead, Zelos and Vigoro decided to settle this match in the fairest, easiest, and most predictable way possible: They would each go out into the world and try to pick up as many chicks as possible. Whoever could woo more ladies in 24 hours would be the winner. And thus, Vigoro and Zelos went out and did what they did best. Vigoro used his chiseled physique, dashing good looks, and his massive *ahem* cannon to charm all the ladies he came in contact with. After the 24 hours had expired, the Sky Pirate strutted out into the arena with 661 adoring women swooning and clinging to his muscular shoulders. When he saw Zelos entering the other end of the arena all by himself, he couldn't help but chuckle to himself. Looks like the pretty-boy Chosen was all talk after all. "What's this? Where'd all your groupies go?" Vigoro asked as he adjusted his shades. "Did I steal all of 'em away from you?" "That's a nice collection of hunnies you've got there," Zelos said as he fished a small round object out of his pocket and tossed it to Vigoro. "But it's just a drop in the bucket compared to what I've hauled in." Vigoro glanced at the object in his hand. It was a small badge with the word "Gigolo" written on it. Puzzled, he looked over to Zelos for some kind of explanation. Zelos simply grinned and snapped his fingers. At his command, three dump trucks filled to the brim with items rolled into the arena and dumped their contents onto the ground behind Zelos. Vigoro could only stare as the massive mountain of items grew and grew. "See all those items? I got each one from one of my hunnies. And as that badge I just gave you shows, it looks like the name 'Zelos Wilder' is now known...worldwide," Zelos said with a triumphant grin. Thus, Zelos was awarded the victory. And even though he lost the match, there were no hard feelings from Vigoro. In fact, he's even been spotted asking Zelos for tips on dating and romance ever since the match. The two have apparently become quite chummy since then. Birds of a feather, eh? Zelos Wilder: 45 |
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