WHEE HEE HEEEEEE! FOOOOOOOLS! Do you honestly think you can match up against the Slayer Of All, Jogurt? Laughable! It's honestly ridiculous that anybody, especially this little twisp of a girl would think, even for the barest second, that you could stand up to the almighty power and presence of the Helmeted Hamster! This won't be a match, it will be slaughter! Mel has some lightning attacks and a hand-puppet, which will mean exactly nothing in the face of Jogurt's almighty attacks and steel-wall defenses. Really, there's nothing you can do against Jogurt except find a place to hide. Somewhere in deepest space would be a good place to start. But it's not that it matters, since Jogurt will find you, and he will end your breath in a manner best left to the imagination. Match to Jogurt.
Let's go, Branky! That shall be the cry of the day as the legendary puppet master (at least, people assume it's a puppet...) Mel takes to the arena. The opponent of the spirited and mighty young warrior is... far, far less than could be hoped for, however. Jogurt's heart might be in the right place, but his actual ability is... well, what you might expect from a tiny rodent attacking armored warriors and gigantic monsters. If it had to be summed up in one word, the best description is "pathetic". But if he insists on doing battle, Mel will oblige, even if it takes but one swipe of Branky's mighty paw to subdue the diminutive yogurt. It might not go down in the records as the most sporting match in history (or even the most sporting match in Light, in all honesty), but you have to start somewhere, right?
Lurking Registered User
--------- One week ago: ---------
Laharl woke from his slumber, chills running down his spine. His ears pricked, listening for the slightest sound that could indicate what had woken him.
"Huh? It's just those stupid Prinnys singing. Must be another Red Moon..." muttered the sleepy Overlord as he rummaged through a pile of legendary weapons kept next to his casket.
Selecting a Longinus, Laharl opened his window and chucked the weapon at the nearest Prinny. He was rewarded with a loud squawk of "DOOD!", to which he responded: "Now keep it down out there!" and slammed the window.
Grumbling, Laharl wandered back to bed. But the foreboding feeling continued.
"Why do I have such a bad feeling about this?" grumbled Laharl. "What threat could reincarnating Prinnys possibly be?"
--------- Today: ---------
Jogurt stepped into the ring.
The number "1000K" floated up from below Mel, as she was scattered into her component atoms, leaving behind only a Jogurt Ring.
Roaring in triumph, Jogurt tore into the audience, sending Godlikes flying like so many bowling pins.
Amid the soft clinking of Jogurt Rings falling like rain in the arena, the judges conferred.
"Level four *thousand!?!* You've got to be kidding me!" yelled Tidus.
"Isn't this technically interference?" asked Magus.
"Yeah, but do *you* want to be the one to tell Jogurt Baal that he's disqualified?" replied Setzer.
"Good point." chorused Tidus and Magus.
"Well, I vote we give Mel the win. It's only fair," decided Tidus.
"I think we should give it to Jogurt," said Magus. "It's the only way we're going to escape this arena alive. Then we can go back in time later and replace Fou Lu with a duplicate so he *doesn't* get vaporized by a hamster like just now. Having a dragon god owe us a favor will make it worth it."
"Well, Setzer?" asked Tidus. "I guess it's your call... Oh for heaven's sake, tell me you're not flipping a coin!"
"Hey," grinned Setzer. "I'm a gambler. It's what I do."
One coin flip later, and the winner was announced to be...