The Season XXX games:
Swimsuit Edition
~OblivionKnight

We here at the RPGDL are delighted to have been around for XXX long seasons. Every season has built upon itself to become bigger and better than before. In honour of your vigiliant support, we here at the RPGDL are ready to reward you with what you've all been waiting for...



Girls! Girls! GIRLS!!!!
By OblivionKnight

...hey, it IS Season XXX, after all. So let's get ready for some chauvanistic ogling!

First up is a wonderful staple of beauty contests everywhere: the Swimsuit competition! Five of the loveliest DL combatants will be showing off their best swimwear, and we'd like to know which one's got what it takes to stand up to all the Pamela Andersons and Yasmeen Bleeths out there. Our contestants are:

Jessica Albert (Dragon Quest 8: Journey of the Cursed King): While she may be wearing a magical bikini, try not to let her bewitch you!

Jennifer (Disgaea: Hour of Darkness): Modelling the latest in future fashions, a g-string and gloves, just imagine what your kids will look like thirty years from now!

Paine (Final Fantasy X-2): While she's not modelling any specific swimsuit that we know of, rest assured, when you come from a game whose premise is playing Barbie Dress-up, she's sure to have something naughty you can unlock with a gameshark.

Karin Koenig (Shadow Hearts: Covenant): Mmm... you know, I really wonder where she sheathes that sword...

KOS-MOS (Xenosaga Series): Our final competitor brings a swimsuit made entirely out of metal into the competition. While it's not great for swimming in, it still shows off all the relevant curves you'd expect on a girl.
  • Jess bursts onto the scene wtih a win
  • Jennifer smashes everyone with her talents
  • Paine's outfit strikes at the heart, and she takes home the crown
  • Yuri's loss is our gain, Karin easily wins.
  • KOS shows that you don't have to be human to capture hearts and eyes, and wins.

Cmdr_King
Yuri is a man of many virtues (and more than a few vices), but one people sometimes forget is his talent for balancing saving the world and looking out for those close to him.
As such, it wasn't surprising that in the midst of the events of Season XXX's inaugeral week, he still remembered that Karin was involved in the opening Swimsuit Contest.

Of course, once you discounted everyone that was in the middle of things, everyone that Yuri needed to address the bigger threat, people that would just make things much worse, and Alice because he damn well wasn't subjecting her to that mess, the only people left were Joachim and Margarete. Joachim naturally is immune to perversion (or at least, his mind is totally uneffected by it, which isn't the same thing), and Margarete just seems not to mind it too much.

On the other hand, their collective solution to the problem was to knock out the other competitors, bodily pick Karin up and walk off with her, then blow up the whole arena for good measure. Not that anyone really noticed, and it did accomplish their mission after a fashion. There were, however, unintended consequences.

Impressive a physical specimin Joachim is, and needlessly large as Margarete's bombs were, none of it really affected KOS-MOS that much. Thusly, as the judges of the match were either incompacitated or Zidane, who was busy, she had a sudden blank spot in her schedual. As such, she got in touch with her erstwhile creator.

"Shion. The Swimsuit Contest appears to be postponed. Requesting instructions."
Shion, who was in fact already strongly under the influence of the season, giggled almost drunkenly. "Just the sexy piece of engineering I wanted to see. KOSsy-MOSsy, you get back here right away. I have jobs for you <3"
(It will forever be a mystery exactly how Shion managed to say the heart emoticon verbally. She was in no state to remember later, and all further attempt at it has produced either the far less girlish "less than three" or resulted in massive brain hemoraging.)
((Actually, Shion might have suffered that as well, but who can tell with her.))
In any case, KOS-MOS responded without much hesitation. "Acknowledged. Shall I simply forfeit the contest?"
"Oh, you and your contest! Just hack into the DL Database on the way over here and register yourself as the winner, I'm sure no one will notice and I'm getting impatient!"
"Acknowledged. Signing Off."

Jessica: 21
Jennifer: 7
Paine: 11
Karin: 26
KOS-MOS: 31

mepmep
Inside the judges booth for the swimsuit competition sat Angelo, Laharl, Yuri, Rikku, and Shion.

"My vote's for Jennifer because her sexy powers can even stop the mightiest of all Overlord's in his tracks."

"My vote's for Karin because I'm tired of being a dumbass."

"My vote's for Jessica because they jiggle when she walks."

"My vote's for Rikku because, well... if you've ever played our game then you know I want her."

"My vote's for Kos-Mos because... damn Paine took my idea."

Before an argument could break out about the tie Edge and Zidane walked in.
"Who the hell chose 5 judges from the 5 worlds that our contestents are from. It's only fair that the two of us get the final say."

"Jessica does get points for bouncing, but Karin and Paine using swords is just hot. Jennifer is the token blonde, but the fact that you can reprogram Kos-Mos to do whatever you want is like a dream come true. Still, the winner of this one is obvious, and that is..."

Before Edge or Zidane could state the winner, two different Bahamut's blew the living hell out of them and much of the area around them.

"Prick" Rydia said as she walked off
"Ass" Garnet followed with
"Oh yeah, looks like your little contest is in ruins."

The judges looked at the stage and the only person still standing after the duel Bahamut blasts was...

Starphoenix das Helpoemer
*Sees Bathing Suit Contest*

*Looks at Oblivion Knight*

*Sees comments about the contestants*

*Puts Oblivion Knight through a wood chipper*

*Fertilizes lawn with Oblivion Knight's remains*

*Votes for Kos-Mos*

Mr. VSM
Paine may have a bit of a mean streak I don't like, but when it comes to revealing outfits, my heart will always lie with the Naughty Brunette.