Cave In
~Taishyr

etting – A Dark Cave, Somewhere, Someplace

The shadows stirred. Perhaps that’s a cliché in most all other parts of the word, but here,
they truly did stir. A voice, piping and echoless, rose in the monstrous cavern.

“Got any eights?”

The being next to the voice gestured with a massive claw. A hand grabbed a card from the pile, then giggled sharply. “Wee, two eights <3”

The being next to her glared. “Good God, Alice, can you be any less cheerful?”

“Oh, shut up, Mara. You’ve got no right to talk.”

The being next to Alice gestured across the table. The shadows looked up. “No, Ruby, I have no fives.” The hand gestured in a whimsical manner, then took a card. Away from the table, another shape in the shadow stirred.

“Can’t you get some bloody illumination down here, Elidibis?” it snapped peevishly. The shadow nodded, and then a snap was heard. A few minutes later, the cavern was filled with the light emitted from the Byblos. Gabriel Celeste nodded. “Thank you. Being in the dark is not my cup of tea.” Alongside him, the Iseria Queen nodded as well.

“Not a problem. Just don’t touch the crystal.” Elidibis turned back to the table. “Got any threes, Alice?” The girl pouted, but handed one over. “Fours?”

“Nope!”

“Drat.” Elidibis pulled a random card from the stack.

“This is retarded,” another voice yelled. The figures turned to see Hades, eyes smoldering. “There are fights out there, warriors, entire leagues of battles to prove one’s worth. And what are we doing?”

“Playing Go Fish?” Alice helpfully suggested.

“WASTING OUR LIVES! We’re the true Godlikes, not those namby-pamby suckers the DL has in our place! My friends, my comrades! Let us summon our allies…”

“And play Go Fish together?” Alice piped up.

“NO! To take our rightful place in the DL. Come, friends. Summon your allies and friends, all your true powers. Let us take the DL by storm!”

“Uh… who’ll organize such an attack?”

A being in the corner shifted slightly. “I think I know just the man…”


“So, how’s the room look?” Alice asked the man cheerfully.

“Wet,” he replied dryly. “Very wet.”

“That comes with the Deep Dungeon, I’m afraid,” she said somberly, slightly stirring the stale air with her tail. “I’m still surprised Ragu managed to recruit you for us, tho.”

The man gave a weak chuckle. “I swore off plot powers in DL battles, but… I believe this cause is worthy enough. I had wondered where all you went, honestly. Why aren’t you guys in the arena?”

Alice replied in a scathing tone, “Apparently they tried it once… a match between Emerald WEAPON and Humpty & Dumpty, back when the Planescape: Torment was ranked – way before the current history of the DL. The stupid judges started whining when half the stadium got blown up and stepped on.”

“The judges failed to account for the size of the contestants? Their own fault, then.” The man nodded, then said “As I served Brionac with my wits, jokes and power, so shall I serve you. Augst Henriksen, here to assist you Ubergodlikes in your quest to reclaim your place in the DL.” Augst checked his watch. “The first meeting’s in ten minutes down at the table. Let us be off, then.”


Setting – The Conference Table of the DL Judges

“So, let us get this straight, Augst.” Sephiroth said irritably. “The ancient beasts, monsters, and warriors-“

“The Ubergodlikes, please,” Augst interrupted softly, with a wicked grin.

Sephiroth grimaced. “Fine. These… Ubergodlikes, then. They desire a place in the DL?”

“Exactly.” Augst nodded. “They consider themselves far superior warriors to the beings you have currently in Godlike, and furthermore desire to test their mettle against the rest of the warriors in existence. In other words, they demand recognition.”

Myria frowned. “Why would we do this? We do not have the facilities to handle such fighters, and it would be another expense to our rather tight budget to do so.”

“Besides…” Nate spoke in a quiet tone, “We already have acknowledged the warriors you represent. I completely acknowledge the fact that very few of our ranks could fight any of you, one on one. I am willing to assist you in developing a separate Arena for them, but to have them fight here? Honestly, I do not think it feasible.”

“So, you are refusing our demands?” Augst asked, one eyebrow raised.

Nate replied, “Yes, but I would like to try and keep this civ-“

“Of COURSE we’re refusing your demands, you ass! We’re not some bloody chickenwusses that’ll just cave in! All the DL will fight you to the bitter end and beyond! For the DL!” Zell burst out from his side of the table.

The room was deathly silent for a second, before Augst stood up. “Very well. The demands have been refused, and, as that rabbit once said… This. Is war.” He strolled out of the room, leaving the judges to glare at Zell. Sephiroth was the first to speak.

“Kill him, then go to set our defenses up against the invaders?”

Nate drew his sword. “Let’s.”

Zell gulped. “Uh, guys, can we think about this? Guys? GUYYYS-“


Setting – Skies above the DLVerse.

Augst sighed to the gathered Ubergodlikes, over 100 in total. “They refused the demands. War is inevitable.”

“As was expected.” Ozma murmured. “Now, we ride, my friends.”

“Yes!” Hades thundered. “We ride… to VICTORY!”
  • The Ubergodlikes crush all the DL warriors, and restructure the DL to their desire.
  • The DL warriors repel the Ubergodlikes, saving the multiverse.
  • The fierce war ends in a draw, both sides utterly exhausted.
  • The NR warriors, in a stunning display, emerge from the shadows to rout the Ubergodlikes.
  • The NR forces joins the Ubergodlikes and help crush the DL.

Draco Ignifer
A field of broken bodies, shattered and sundered... all that remained of the once proud duelling league. Against forces such as the Dark Aeons and Penance, the Uber-Prinny and his battleship, against Satan and Gabriel and Freya, what army could stand? Godlikes and Lights alike lay mutilated, and though the forms of once-proud optional superbosses lay among the bloody battlefield, it was clear who the victors were. A soft clack of bone filled the air, as the skeletal form of Hades sarcastically applauded the last of the Godlikes, now standing against the entire tide of destruction.

"You fought well, for final bosses and PCs. But it was a fool's fight. We were born for this purpose... to crush all who stand before us."

The haggard form of Sephiroth, both his battle forms shattered, now leaning against his broken Masamune, didn't dignify him with a response. Yuri, his sanity exhausted, proved less restrained.

"Screw you! You grinning... gkh... bastard! My future's on this fight... I'm not gonna..."

And with a loud crack accompanied, the warrior tumbled backward, slain as well. Elidibs shook his head, rubbing his hand, while the lich turned to him and grinned (not that he had a choice in the matter.

"Thanks. Just wouldn't shut up. As I was saying, you put up a good fight, one and all. But your fight is over. We are the strongest creatures in all existance. And now, we will take our place as rightful lords of the League. For, as I see before me, there are none who can hope to stand before us.

"There's one!"

---

In the hall of Unranked, in front of a massive projection-style TV, they sat and watched. Not-so-optional superbosses, PCs whose designers must have been insane, every unpopular or unfair or just passed over character who had enough of a plot point, enjoyed the show. As Yuri slammed to the ground, and a few of the Not-Ranked laughed, a young man looked over at the sorcerer next to him, a guilty look on his face.

"Hey, Blue... should't we be helping them? It just seems wrong to sit back and watch like this."

"We don't owe them any favors. Hell, half of us still aren't even in the tournament they set up for us. You especially. Do you really want to run up your D-Counter saving them?"

"...We should. I should."

A blonde woman in a police uniform shook her head.

"I've been heroic enough for now. You were too, kid. And I don't really want to beat up my sister again."

"...But, I mean, if we went down there, we could slaughter them. Your Stasis trick, my D-Charge, White Rider's death arrows... even they can't stand before us. We'd be heroes."

Ryu then jolted as heard a loud laugh, and a burning form, lightning crackling at his feet, shook his head.

"Please! We're the strongest freaking creatures in the multiverse! Why do we need to prove ourselves heroes? Not we can be REALLY evil."

"Zetta... what did you do?"

Another loud laugh rang out from the demon, as he gestured to the television, just in time for them to hear the challenge made.

---

The throng of Ubergodlikes looked down at the pathetic creature challenging them. The face of a tiger glared up at them, rage burning in his eyes, as the warrior entered a fighting stance.

"And you just killed his girlfriend!"

A faint, whispered denial (both of death and girlfriend status) from Katt, barely audible, was unheard over the laugh of the massed optional superbosses. It was Hades who finally stopped first.

"You? You jest, correct? Leave this place, catboy. Do not concern yourself with things beyond your comprehension."

"You wanna fight?"

"...He really is dense, isn't he?"

"I agree, then! Let's fight!"

And with a roar of rage, the Woran warrior charged into the fray of Ubergodlikes, the battle transition grabbing the entirety of their forces. A glyph blasted from his paws, tearing into the whole of the forces. The damage wasn't enough to even make a scratch on the assembled cast's armor. A second later, where Tiga once stood, a crater remained, as the earnest warrior felt the full force of every optional superboss in existance. Except for the strange fact that Tiga was still standing in the hole, grinning the way only a psychotic Woran can.

"That all you got?"

"...No..."

"My cannons had no effect!? Are you kidding!?"

"That's not possible!"

And a hundred other voices of complaint, some wordless screams, some gasps of horror, filled the amassed warriors.

---

"...A plot boss. You threw a plot boss at them!?"

As the demon lord laughed again, and was joined by the whole of the assembled crowd watching, Ryu shook his head and looked at the demon.

"...I'm never underestimating your evil again. Ever."

"Good child! Now, let's turn this pathetic display off. The way he's hitting them, they're going to be there for a millenium, and I know I have better things to do with my time."

A smirk crossed Blue's face as he turned to the demon lord.

"Like talking to the beaten, nearly dead, and completely in our debt League proper about getting the rest of us Unranked in the Not-Ranked tournament?"

"You learn quickly, for a mortal!"

Uber Godlikes: 12
DL Warriors: 19
Tie: 10
NR assists DL: 22
NR assists Ubers: 13

Mad Fnorder
Location: DL HQ
Time: T-2 hours to battle.

“Mages to the back! No, further back!” Healers, set up positions behind the second and fourth defensive line!” “Mel, Kid, Fargo- Make yourselves useful and mug Ramus a couple of hundred times for supplies!” Cidolfas Orlandu strode around in his element, directing the military preparations. Behind him, a gaggle of Silverburgs (and Shu) continued discussing the finer points of the defensive plan. The Ubergodlikes were coming, and everyone needed to be ready. Orlandu sighed and looked up at the clock. “All our hopes are relying on those five. We’re… probably doomed.”

Location: The Walsta border
Time: T-4 hours to battle

“So let me get this straight…” Paine looked back over her companions. “She’s supposed to be some kind of ruins expert?”
“Yep, word says she loves them.”
“And the robot’s here for what, heavy lifting?”
“Excavation was one of his original functions, yeah.” “And I’m here for the monsters… then why are you here?”
“Because I’m the dueling league’s foremost Treasure Hunter!” Locke said while attempting to strike a gallant pose.
Paine stared a hole through Locke’s head.
“…Fine, they needed the Fire Emblem thieves up front to serve as evasion bait.”
Paine continued staring.
“…and Celes pulled some strings. Look, it doesn’t really matter. We need to find those DL-Banned items before the fight starts. According to the information we have, the chest was hidden at the bottom of a dungeon called Hell’s Gate, near here.”
Paine paused. “They took all those artifacts and just stuck them in a dungeon? Seems like they’d have been found by now.”
Locke grinned. “Worker 8, can you identify our current location?”
Worker whirred and clanked a bit. “ANALYZING WEATHER…GEOGRAPHY…ANTIQUATED BATTLE SYSTEM… MATCH FOUND: WORLD= TACTICS OGRE.”
Locke turned back to Paine. “See? No one would ever think to look here.”

The group walked a bit further until they reached the dungeon itself. “Look, this will be a cinch. I hear they even replaced the monsters in here to make people believe there was nothing valuable at the bottom.”
The first sets of stairs were dusty and worn, as the quartet made their way down into the darkness. They turned the corner into the first room- and recoiled in horror. The room was filled with adversaries- grey tinged copies of the one and only ultimate DL Overlord, Jogurt. Hundreds and Hundreds of them. Locke popped his knuckles. “Okay, no problem. Raine! Go ahead and blast ‘em!”
Raine shrugged helplessly. “I only brought the single-target spells today. I figured with the robot unaffected by magic, it’d be more efficient…”
Locke turned pale. “Paine?”
“All my other Dressspheres are in the chest we’re here to get.”
Worker 8 had already started stepping on hamsters that wandered within range.
Locke hefted his ValiantKnife. “Well… Hrm. Let’s…get started?”
Paine rolled her eyes as she began preparing Assault. “Only Ninety-nine floors of this to go.”

Location: DL HQ
Time: T+5 Minutes from battle.

“They’re LATE.” Orlandu shouted over the din at the strategists. A hail of utterly unfair and plot-related energy had begun raining down over the DL HQ, focused with punishing precision. Augst’s tactics had been straightforward but effective. Starting with the outer arenas and working their way in, the defenders were forced to give ground right off the bat, while slowly losing their ability to mount a counter-attack…or escape. A quick conference resulted in Apple stepping forward to speak for the group. “We… have a plan. We’re going to distract them temporarily with the most infuriating thing we can construct in short notice. It should buy us some more time.”
Orlandu groaned. “Anything that lets me live long enough to STRANGLE Locke, I’ll do!”

Location: Hell’s Gate, 58th floor
Time: T-21 minutes to battle.

“TIME RECURSIVE INQUIRY: ARE WE THERE YET?” beeped Worker 8. Raine had taken to sitting on top of the robot and occasionally poking a Jogurt with her staff.
Locke turned around, hand sore from throwing and catching the Wing Edge several thousand times. “We’ll get there WHEN WE GET THERE!”

Location, Outside DL Arena 3
Time: T+8 minutes from battle.

“This is the best you could come up with?” Orlandu waved the Excalibur at the patchwork construction.
Lucca and the Female Scientist Brigade nodded. “According to our calculations, this is the most annoying possible conglomerate of everything we had on hand. Heck, I kind of want to explode it just looking at it. Its evasive capabilities should buy us another couple of minutes, at least.”
“Sophia and Zidane in Malboro costumes, attached to a Metal Slime. Sophia, ZIP UP YOUR COSTUME! That’s an ORDER!” Orlando barked.
Sophia giggled and Zidane high-fived her as best he good from his position stapled to the slime.
Orlando rolled his eyes and cut the rope on the Slime. True to its instincts, it immediately ran away- toward the Ubergodlike lines.

Location: Hell’s Gate, 93rd Floor
Time: T+2 minutes from battle.

Worker 8 was carrying the party through their quest. Literally. His companions had long since exhausted themselves, and now the robot simply waded into the Jogurts and let them obliterate themselves via counter-attacks. The rest of the group hung limply off his arms.

Location: DL HQ
Time: T+29 minutes from battle.

The distraction had only worked so long. The remaining defenders had huddled together in one of the last arenas still standing. The metal shutters warped and shuddered under the blows, as the last survivors gripped their weapons and waited. Finally the door broke and the grim figure of none other than Prinny Baal waddled his way into the room. “This is the end of the Dueling Lea-“
“BURNING SOUL!”
“RISING DRAGON!”
A huge explosion leveled leveled Baal as Homard, Ash, and Marona strode into the room.
Marona jumped up and down. “The Reinforcements are here~!”
Homard winced and leaned heavily against the wall. “After all, we couldn’t let the League be destroyed before we had our chance.”
Terra climbed to her feet. “But we need more time to equip our forces, even with your help!”
Bartz, in the pointy hat of a Time Mage, stepped into the room as well. “Leave that to me! RESET!”

Location: Outside DL Arena 17
Time: T+18 minutes, from the 14th start of the battle.

Locke was hoping for a victory parade for retrieving the chest. Or at least Celes. Instead, Edge and Yuri were waiting for them, looking off to the west while sharing some popcorn.
Locke unceremoniously dumped the stack of loot in front of the duo, exhausted. “Here’re your stupid items.”
Edge grinned as he popped open the crate and began stuffing his pockets with duplicated Excaliburs.
Yuri simply helped himself to a Crucifix. “Great work, Locke. Only a couple of hours behind schedule.”
Locke stared blankly at Yuri, and then his watch. “But- Zenobian Standard Time- the Interdimensional Date Line- Daylight Savings-“
Yuri waved off the excuses. “Relax, the Not Ranked took care of it. Watch Zidane and Sophia get exploded again-I love this part. We’ll run this gear over to the HQ afterward. I have a bet with Arnaud if Raquel can one-shot Zozma with her Equites and a Sheriff Star.”

UltraDude
NR has Puka, Diamond Weapon, Anima, Lugia, Kyogre, Monster Z and frickin' Sora. Whoever they side with gets the boost they need to win.

If they abstain, ubergodlikes lose to being outnumbered about 4-1, by the combined efforts of every buffing spell casting mage in the DL turning the godlikes like Ghaleon and Sephiroth into beings capable of OHKOing half the ubergodlikes.

dude789
The first thing to consider is that some of these ubergodlikes can be beaten by some duelers in the DL such as Yuna. Another thing is that the ubergodlikes probably have very little healing and the healing they do have is probably self target only. The last thing is that the dueling league is full of buffers and some of the current godlikes would easily become ubergodlikes with the help of someone like Cecilia. So although the ubergodlikes are strong after almost every attack they do they are being hit with hundreds of attacks and all the damage they do is being healed up immediately. If the NR warriors come in to help it becomes one sided.

jaymthegenius@yahoo.com
Wait a minute, shouldnt Freya be considered an Uber-Godlike? Afterall there is no one harder to defeat in Star Ocean. Nonetheless superbosses are too much for main game bosses and charicters put togeather. Astaroth, Beelzebub, Catastrophe (FFII,V, and X), Omega weapon, among others working togeather is just merciless slaughter.

Xan
The Ubergodlikes are uber for a reason. Omega Weapon V.8 alone could probably level the entire Middle and Heavy classes in a few turns. lets not even think about what Rago O Ragula could do. Or Ruby Weapon. or just about any other uber boss in existance.

Mechaux01@yahoo.com
The Not Ranked warriors are the most powerful group of beings in the entire DL

ShinryuOmegaCombo
Ozma for Godlike!

Tide
Wait...a chance to see Sephy, Kefka and other high godlikes get crushed? Oh dear god yes!