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Love Attorney Flonne in Some wondered exactly how the founders of the Duelling League had afforded such a well appointed pocket universe to hold their contests in, but clearly they had forgotten that most of the League's founders were composed of the top Godlikes of the day. When you hold the power to destroy cities, planets, or large sections of the multiverse at a whim, things get easy. But all this is outside the scope of our story. Getting back to DL Heights, one intrepid young Attorny excitedly fixed her freshly polished plaque just outside the door to a fantastic corner office. Underneath was a slightly duller sign. In theory it read "Love Paralegal Etna", though somehow within the five minutes it had been in place the name Etna had managed to become illegibly scratched. Flonne drooped a little as her friend came into view. "I'm sorry, Etna, but they broke it." Etna didn't seem to notice. "Ahhh, isn't this great! I knew this Law business was a good idea <3" Brightening suddenly, Flonne cried out "Oh, of couse! I'll just have to buy you a new one tomorrow!" If Etna noticed this, she shockingly elected to continue on. "So! Did anyone stop by while I was out?" An air of complete obliviousness settled around Flonne. "Um..." she stood, frozen, for several moments. "Um... wasn't there a message on the machine before you left?" Horror dawned on Etna's face as she realized that Flonne had just activated that message. "NO! That was just, I mean, Laharl!! Ye-" but it was too late as the voice of one infamous prince blared into the room. "Good morning, Flonne! I trust you're enjoying the new office? I really got Etna a great deal - there's a three year waiting list for every room here, including some that no longer exist. Anyway, I was hoping you might do me a favor. See... Rydia and I... anyway, she's trying to leave... um. And... see, she's trying to take everything, and I don't even... so. Well, anyway, I hope you can help." As the machine went silent, Flonne assumed her typical pondering pose. "Rydia trying to leave? I don't get it." Etna sighed loudly. "Flonne, don't you read the papers? Rydia is trying to divorce Edge even though they're not technically married, and she's wringing him for everything he's worth while he's at it!" Clapping happily, Flonne spoke at a pace none could match. "Of course! He just doesn't know how to express his love to her! So all we need to do..." Etna groaned as Flonne continued on for quite some time. It was dark and the brilliantly polished Metal Slimes came out before she finally wound down. However, entranced in her own annoyance as she was, Etna couldn't stop Flonne before she called up the prince of Eblan, practically screaming "We'll take the case!" Returning once again to the courtroom of the honorable White Knight Leo, Flonne's confidence is high as she prepares to defend one ever-loving Ninja Prince, and just maybe prove just how big a heart he has. |
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Apalachian "Objection!" Flonne shouted. "The trial hasn't even started yet, Flonne. We're all waiting outside of the Courthouse. We were going to kidnap Rydia when she walks by, and then force her to let Edge stay with her for the rest of her life!" Rydia was then looking at Etna with the fury of a thousand suns in her eyes. Before Etna got a chance to move, Rydia slapped that girl like she was some Pimp's bitch. "YOU LITTLE WORM! HOW DARE YOU SLAP ME! FLONNE, KIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLL HEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!" "Umm...I don't know about this Etna, I mean we have to go inside the Court and...defend Edge. Right?" Etna then took out her lance and faced Rydia. "IT'S ON NOW, BITCH. YOU WILL FACE THE MIGHT OF A GIRL WITH RAGING PMS!" Rydia stared at Etna. "Hey hey. I have raging PMS too. I know how it feels. Just calm down." Rydia then walked over to Etna and rested her head on her shoudler. She then walked her into the courtroom, with Flonne walking feebly behind. --11:34 AM - DL Heights Waiting Room-- "So, Flonne, are you ready for your case?" Flonne looked at Etna. "Of course I'm ready. I have the power of Love! Love will always prevail! Edge's love for Rydia will empower me to win this case for the spirit of Love! With all of the Love Edge has provided for Rydia, nothing but Love will be able to win this case! Because Love is the greatest power of them all! The power of Love is great enough to overcome the biggest and nastiest difficulties! With the power of Love on my side, and the power of Love swaying through the hearts and minds of the honorable Jury, nothing but Love will be the deciding factor of this case! Because, Etna, if you have not yet taken the hint, Love is the only reason Angels are able to do anything! And with Love, I'm sure that this case, and every case that will take place in the future, Love will prevail!" Etna then blinked and walked into the courtroom. --11:40 AM - DL Heights Courtroom-- "Will all please rise?" the Honorable White Knight Leo stated. Everyone rised. "Thank you. You may now sit down." Edge looked at Flonne with eyes full of tears. "You've got to win, Flonne! Please! You have to! For the good of the future of me and Rydia, and our future kids, Edge and Rydia Jr., you must defend my right to keep my stuff, and make Rydia stay with me!" "Okay! With the Power of Lo---" Etna looked at Flonne with the rage of a million suns in her eyes. "Flonne, if you say the word Love one more time, I will kill you. You probably don't think that I can force this towel down your throat. But trust me, I can. All the way. Except I'd hold onto this one little bit at the end. When your stomach starts to digest it, I pull it out. Taking your stomach lining with it. For most people it would take about a week to die. It's very painful. Do you want that to happen to you, Flonne?" Flonne cowered in fear. "N..N...No...Please don't hurt me, Etna. Etna smiled. "Good." White Knight Leo then began, "Prosecutor, your opening statement please?" Prosecutor von Karma then began his speech. "We will win. That's all." "Erm...anything else?" White Knight Leo was confused. "No." "Okay then...Love Attorney Flonne, your Opening statement?" "With the power of L--" Flonne then looked over at Etna. "I mean...with the power of...compassion...and...heartfelt gratitude...I will proove that Edge deserves to keep his stuff! And stay with Rydia! Forever! Because that's what Love is!" Courtroom: "GASP!!" Etna then went to the bathroom. She came back with a towel. She forced the towel down Flonne's throat. And the rest...I'm sure you know what happened. Courtroom: "..." White Knight Leo: "..." von Karma: "..." Edge: "..." Rydia: "Well...Edge. After seeing what just happened here, I felt compassion for you like no other. It reminded me of our first date, when you killed Palom in that same fashion. The love I felt for you at that moment...it was like no other. Take me now, Edge! And we will live out the rest of our lives in happiness!" And so Edge and Rydia went back towards their rooms, hand and hand, for the rest of eternity. Flonne wins: 33 Flonne loses: 5 Edge: 25 Leo: 20 Starphoenix das Helpoemer
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