Season 27, Week 1
Berle
(Star Ocean: The Second Story)
 
Finally, a chance for revenge! Never much for offense, Berle has had a repeat problem with running into healers who can eventually wear him down. This time, his opponent has to deal with the limits of his own sanity. Every second that Berle has his barrier in place, Yuri will go just a little more insane. Every time Yuri stops to heal himself he moves closer to the brink of madness. Just changing into one of his powerful fusions will deliver a mighty blow to Yuri's mind. All Berle has to do is survive. And with his massive HP, defenses, elemental resists, and unbreakable Meta-Guard, survival is what Berle does best.

V

S

Sometimes it seems like a guy just can't catch a break. After a distressingly brief vacation following his last mauling, Yuri Hyuga returns once again to the Duelling League. But things look a little different this time; today's opponent isn't a dark god or immortal dragon. Nope, just a simple android with an unbreakable barrier. Compared to the usual crap fate throws in his way, this is almost too easy. A blast of For the Children before Berle can erect his barrier coupled with buffs and healing to maximize the pain when that barrier goes down again. It's just that simple. Maybe Yuri's vacation just got a little extension after all.


SageAcrin
*A day before the match.*

"Aaaaah." Yuri said, relaxing in a easy chair. "This is the life. Relaxing before a match, a drink in one hand, beautiful women all around, and no obnoxious drunken idiots. Turning the Yggdrasil IV into the world's largest bar was a great idea, Setzer."

"Well, I've always had an eye for good investments, and this thing certainly wasn't usable, or even mobile, after what Edge did to it." Setzer said in a nearby chair, shrugging. "By the way, how did Edge manage to pay that 172.4 billion Gil tab they sued him for?"

"You know, I never asked him." Yuri said, shrugging. "Knowing him, he probably charged it to credit cards and went to steal some junk. Thinking on it, I missed him for a week there, and when he came back, he looked like hell. Of course, he could have just not gotten away from Piastol fast enough."

"So, there you are!" A strident voice said. "I have a proposition for you."

"Oh, god, look, I don't work with random perverts that just talk me up, okay?" Yuri said, turning around.

"Pervert? Me?" Kuja said. "Well, you wear women's clothes." "That was just for the three weeks I was a woman. And a couple days afterwards. What I wear now is perfectly suitable for my grand station in life." Kuja said arrogantly. "At any rate, this foolish creature you're fighting has once humiliated me greatly."

"...Oh, you mean that match where he took of his helmet and you fainted. Then people threw rotten tomatos at you while you were out." Yuri said, nodding. "Yeah, that was fun."

"Hmph. Anyways, I have had a device devised. All you have to is plug it into Berle, and my revenge will be complete." Kuja said.

"So, just...wait, plug...look, I'm not into reaching around and plugging that thing into kinky places." Yuri said. "No, no, it plugs into his sword, you fool. It has an add-on slot." "...Why?" Yuri said. "Why the hell would you make an add on slot for a sword?" "Because Berle was once looking into modifying his sword into a ultimate variable weapon. Then Cyril mocked him about turning his sword into a giant swiss army knife. He still mocks him about it, actually, even though Berle cut his face off and kicked him into the Einherjar ladies dormatories once for it." "Ah. So, just find the slot, plug this stupid box into it, and you're happy, and I get...?" Yuri said, prompting.

"The satisfaction of helping out one better than you." Kuja said.

Yuri punched Kuja in the face.

"Try again?" Yuri said pleasantly.

"My...my...nose...alright, you brute, that box can also be modified in a way that would allow you a win. Does that satisfy you?" "No, not really, I'd win anyways." "Fine. I'll pay you." "Now we're getting somewhere."

*Six hours later.*

"Hmmmm, add-on plugin, very high technology, ripped off from Tetragene Kaliedoscope technology blatently and poorly made." Lexis said, examining the box. "I could use this for parts."

"Hey, hey, hey! No, I need this to get the cash out of Kuja." Yuri said. "I haven't been successful enough here to be really rich yet, and cash helps keep up my lifestyle of not having to work for a living. Besides, Edge costs a lot as friends go." Yuri said, sighing. "Just modify that thing somehow so that it could kill whoever was wielding whatever it was plugged into."

"Kill?" Lexis said. "This thing? Well, I guess I could...hmmm. Just go the cheapest route? You don't really care what it does?"

"Why the hell should I?" Yuri said, shrugging. "Just make it bring down the robot, so I don't get bashed around. It's going to be hard enough as it is to plug that box in."

"Okay." Lexis said, shrugging.

*Eighteen hours later.*

"Where is that idiot?" Berle said. "I don't want to be kept waiting long."

"And you're sure it'll work, Lexis?" Edge said. "Well, yes, but...um, run after you plug it in." Lexis said, warningly. "You don't want to be near that thing when it goes off." "Okay, fine." Edge said.

"Hmph. Took you long enough. Well, let's have this over with." Berle said, concentrating. "Now to cut you to pieces. Metaguard!" He cried, as a blue barrier surrounded him.

"Not even a greeting or a hello? Man, you lack style." Yuri said, shrugging. Standing his ground, he watched Berle closely, as he rushed forward to smash Yuri with a Metacancelling.

And, as Berle's blade exited the barrier around him, Yuri dodged, and plugged the box into a small slot up near the hilt.

"Hah, first try!" Yuri said, dashing back.

"Hmm? What is..." Berle said, puzzled, staring down at the box.

"AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I am the worst fighter in the world, a pansy boy, and Kuja is far my superior!" Echoed from the box. In "Berle's" voice, which was obviously Kuja disguising his voice to try to sound like Berle.

Perhaps echoed is a very bad word for this.

Boomed would be an understatement, in fact.

As the massive sonic shockwave eminated from the box, the ground shook, the ceiling collapsed(Thankfully, no one important was in the arena above. Luke fell somewhere into the stands. Evidently no one had bothered hauling him off the field after he lost his earlier match.), the arena walls collapsed in places, Yuri was himself knocked flat on the ground...

...and Berle practically dissolved into a fine mist.

"...that...that...that was his...revenge?" A dazed Yuri said, as Berle's sword clanked to the ground.

"Well, no, just the words were." Lexis said, taking out a pair of earplugs. "But you said the cheapest way, and all the thing was was a tape, so the cheapest way to make it kill someone is amplifiers. Right?"

"...that's it, I'm asking you about everything from now on in." Yuri said, still shaking his head to clear it. "Now, WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Yuri called out to Lexis in what he thought was a normal tone of voice.

---

"And here's the price, as we agreed on, plus a bonus." Kuja said, smiling. "I am well satisified with your work this day. Even if you did pick an oddly out of the way place to make a transaction." He added, scowling at the forest around him.

"Um...yeah. And it only took a few hours for my ears to stop ringing." Yuri said. "Still have the headache, though."

"Well, now, I think we're done?" Kuja said, walking towards the door.

"Just one thing." Yuri said.

"Hmmm?" Kuja said, puzzled.

Yuri tossed Kuja a blanket-wrapped parcel. "Here, a souvineir."

"Hmmm?" Kuja said, unwrapping the parcel, oblivious to Yuri's rapid flight.

"Oh, it's that swo-"

"AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I am the worst fighter in the world, a pansy boy, and Kuja is far my superior!"

"And that's what you deserve for making me waste my damned time with something so pathetic. Even for money, I have my limits." Yuri said, with a broad grin on his face, as the trees splintered behind him.

Berle: 18
Yuri Volte Hyuga: 74