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The heart of the Cards "Uwhehehehehehe! Come and step up, one and all! Watch as I make a balloon animal out of this willing volunteer!" The Godlike champ, Kefka, master clown, bolted down to the audience watching his antics, and grabbed the first person he put his hands on... "Hey! Put me down!" Roger Huxley yelled. "I'm getting angry! No...stop! Argh!" "Ooooohhhhh...pretty zebra!" Sue gawked in awe at the now greatly deformed midget. "Uwhehehehehe! A present for you, little miss!" "Thanks!" Meanwhile, in a secluded corner of the carnival, a different situation had arisen... "Get away from me, you wench! You can't even tell your own fortune, let alone someone else's!" "Ah, no, no you don't! I was trained in Florence under the great...whatever her name was! I'm engaged to...some guy from Arabia! I...what were we talking about again?" "Please, just shut up, both of you." "Oh, little miss prissy ninja, you think you're so special because you actually hit things with your cards, don't you? Well, you're more of a disgrace than this Mediterranean who..." "Watch your mouth!" "Ladies," said another, male, voice. Everyone turned to the man with a blue coat, spiked yellow/red hair, and a weird machine on his right arm with a deck of cards in it. "You must believe in the heart of the cards and work together, or else..." But the man was cut off, as Sheena Fujibayashi called out, "MAXWELLLLL!" The ancient mage appeared in a flash, grinned as he stared at his prey, and thwacked him with his old man cane clear to the stratosphere. "That's that!" Sheena said, triumphantly. "No, it's not." said a new voice from off to the side. The crowd that had gathered turned towards the two unknown travellers. One of them stood assuredly in front of them - a tall man with blue hair, a brown cloak and cape, and wings, one of them clearly mechanical in nature. The other traveller wore a tall blue hat, and a similarly brown, though less tattered cloak and cape. The man with wings spoke next. "Twentieth anniversary of the DL, and you didn't even invite the real card masters to join the party. Shame." "Well, we did, but then Miss Ninja kicked him into the stratosphere." Lucia replied in her usual airy voice. The man with the blue hat spoke next. "No, not that failure. I am Rooks, and this is Kalas. We're from two games that have never seen the light of day in the DL: Arcana and Baten Kaitos, where real card masters exist." At those words, Nara, the fortune teller, spoke up: "Really? What exactly do you people have on us? It's written in the cards that..." "Oh, shut it!" Kalas snarled. "We're not through with you yet. Now, seeing as you three seem to be the master card-users here, let's have us a little talk..." "...we're here for a show." Rooks continued, smiling. "Which of you deserves to be a true card master? Since the real ones aren't ranked, we can't have poor, talentless wenches disgracing the name. So, we want you three to..." A collective groan was heard from the audience, as everyone knew what was coming next... "...DUEL! You three will fight each other for the right to be called a true card master. You will each be given a set of cards that correspond to each of your individual talents and skills. It's balanced - all you have to do is play intelligently." On that last word, the entire group of people glared at Lucia. "Huh? What did you say?" she said dreamily. "Anyway, this will be judged by someone who should all be near and dear to your hearts. A former card-master in the DL, until he was kicked out for no rhyme or reason. Welcome back, Judge Theo!" "Ok!" Theo yelled to the crowd. "Let's get this party started! Typical Duelling rules, so let's go!" |
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SageAcrin As you can see from the results of this match, there is evidently a truth about card games. Yes, the true winners of the card games are the ones with bigger breasts. What with all the leaning over and closely examining cards and the thoughtful poses and the excited bouncing. You know what this means, right? Endless Sheena x Lucia x Nara fanart and fanfiction written by various perverts, large amounts of drooling from the judges, Sheena Lepant and Sten Legacy, and Zidane trying to stick his hand down Lucia's shirt, after Garnet throws him down a flight of stairs and into the arena after the sixteenth perverted comment he makes. On the upside, how often do you see Sheena tap four green, sacrifice half their Sneasel's life, and turn Zidane into a humpback whale, flattening Lucia and Nara in the process, for the ultimate card championship win, while Rooks laughs maniacally and sips some tea? I would have to say, not enough. Nara: 12 Lucia: 17 Sheena: 26 |