 |
|||||||||
|
 |
|||
|
Juan (Suikoden III) |
|||
Showing up for his matches asleep. Juan is either incredibly brave or an incredible fool - or so traditional lore would dictate. Fact of the matter is, he's neither - he's just the laziest man out of all the 540 or so Stars of Destiny, and proud of it. He's in some luck this week: his foe, another one of those same Stars, has no status attacks - sooner or later she will have to damage Juan, and wake him up. And for waking Juan up, there is but one punishment: death, swift and brutal. Juan will only have to be active for a few seconds to put on his usual shattering, painful display of Fury-enhanced martial arts, before claiming victory, and more importantly, his essential and just sleep. |
V |
S |
Insecure males and annoying Mary Sues, beware! Tengaar, the bravest woman in Warrior Village is finally back to make a mark in Middle! And this current match will be a fine display of her Earth Rune's power: Juan may be a dangerous martial artist, but his always starting his fights asleep lets Tengaar do anything she wants before the lazy bum gets a strike. After a casting of Revenge Earth, Juan won't be able to even singe Tengaar's 100% evasive hair (let alone body). Even better, the warrior lady probably doesn't even need that spell - a single casting of the mighty Earthquake against the magically frail and drowsy Juan should stop him flat before the match even begins! Laziness has no talk when Tengaar is out to play! |
Joou Ranbu The match between Tengaar and Juan could've been exciting. Dynamic. Blood-pumping. However, it was not to be. You see, they were invited to be the main characters of a sitcom reality show for one week - Sleeping Singles. They would be paired with a random DL person who would be their best friend and live altogether in an apartment in New Jersey. The one who got the highest rate of approval from the audience would win the match. It would save them time: Juan could sleep longer than if he had to go to the match, Tengaar could give Hix some time to toughen up and everybody wins in the long run. Except when Rinoa Heartilly is cast as your "best friend" room mate. In less than three days, the show was over. Between Tengaar hitting and bruising the floozy in all ways possible (including hitting Rinoa in the face with a boiling hot pressure pan, using her head as a dartboard while throwing sharp knives and throwing Rinoa down a set of stairs with spikes on it, as well as daily earthquakes that would destroy an entire estate) and Juan brutally smashing Rinoa's face in every time he was awaken (always after an Earthquake), there wasn't much future to the show. Regardless of which, due to making Rinoa suffer more often, Tengaar won the people's test. Rinoa, on the other hand, now thinks they're best friends, and started trying to hang around with the Stars of Destiny. The results so far consist of broken ribs, flammable hair combusting, brutal bat beatings and target practice with Rinoa's limbs. At least, Hix got a good bleeding dummy for his swordfighting training. Juan: 34 |
|||