Epic
~hinode

Milon stood in a cave deep below the Duelling League arena, fuming over his recent loss to Bartre. "Curse that stupid Warrior! How could he ever defeat me, Milon, Fiend of Earth and Master of the Undead. No... he couldn't have beaten me! It was a robbery, I tell you! A rob! I'll pay him back for that someday..."

Suddenly, he was interrupted by a (different) maniacal voice. "Well, well, if it isn't the wannabe master of earth. Too ashamed to cry for your mommy where people can see you?" EVIL GAIA's massive form suddenly came into view, a smirk visible on his Bette Midler-like face.

"Hmph! So what's the two-time victim of Final Fantasy VIII PCs doing here?" Milon sneered in response. "Come begging for advice from a real earth-elemental villain?"

"Big words from a guy who lost to an Arc the Lad 4 PC! Why, Samson's so pathetic that even that cast wouldn't let him stick around permanently!" EVIL GAIA replied furiously. A smug look came over his face as he continued, "Besides, I at least have managed to obtain two victories in the DL. You haven't even gotten a single win in three tries!"

"That's it! I'm show you just who's the real master of earth right now!"

"Bwahahahaha! So you think you can take on the might of EVIL GAIA, do you? Very well, this shall be a warm-up for my conquest of the Duelling League proper!"

"Bring it on, you overgrown vegatable!"

"Why you little..."

And so, the epic clash of titans began. But who triumphed in the end?
  • Milon grinds EVIL GAIA into mulch
  • EVIL GAIA removes the un- from Milon's undead status
  • Shiho accidentally stumbles upon the match and beats them both

Joou Ranbu
The two powerful minions of darkness stood there. Ready to fight. It would be an epic clash of unimaginable power. It would be...

A KARAOKE CONTEST.

Not only that, a COSPLAYING KARAOKE CONTEST.

Milon Z channeled into the powers of Barbrilon Ztreizand. Evil Gaia assumed the Evil Gaia Midler custom persona. The damp, dark cave was turned into an auditorium for people to watch and cheer. (Well, actually they were slavedriven peasants brought from random Shining Force towns who were threatened with a swarm of lesbian Pegasus Knights in case they didn't attend, but hey!) With the ambience ready and a crowd for the feast, it was time for the sing-out!

The judge (a cute random Dragon Quest VIII Slime who needed some cash) flipped a coin to see who would sing first. The coin fell... and bounced over the slime. Then it fell to the ground. Tails. That was Gaia Midler's cue.

Gaia Midler raised its voice to the mike. "HELLO, DARLINGS! TONIGHT..." -and Gaia Midler did a fast spin. She/he/it switched to a red, tight, cleavage-happy dress. The hair was scant red, arranged in a way that made it seem like a giant chantilly fudge. The over-the-top makeup covered the monster's face in pink and red. And Gaia was... standing over a floating broom. "I WILL SING A CLASSIC CALLED 'I PUT A SPELL ON YOU', FROM THE DISNEY HIT MOVIE. I WILL BEWITCH YOU ALL. HIT IT, KARAOKE MACHINE!". And the cheesy keyboard-toned music began, soon being followed by Gaia Midler's grotesque voice.

"I PUT A SPELL ON YOU
AND NOW YOU'RE MINE.
YOU CAN'T STOP THE THINGS I DO.
I AIN'T LYYYYYIN'.

IT'S BEEN 300 YEARS
RIGHT DOWN TO THE DAY,
NOW THE WITCH IS BACK
AND THERE'S HELL TO PAY.

I PUT A SPELL ON YOU
AND NOW YOU'RE MIIIIIINE!

HELLO, SALEM! MY NAME'S WINIFRED, WHAT'S YOURS?

I PUT A SPELL ON YOU
AND NOW YOU'RE GONE. (GONE GONE GONE SO LONG!)
MY WHAMMY FELL ON YOU
AND IT WAS STRONG. (SO STRONG SO STRONG SO STRONG)

YOUR WRETCHED LITTLE LIVES
HAVE ALL BEEN CURSED,
'CAUSE OF ALL THE WITCHES WORKING
I'M THE WORST!

I PUT A SPELL ON YOU
AND NOW YOU'RE MINE!

[WATCH OUT! WATCH OUT! WATCH OUT! WATCH OUT!]

IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE,
YOU'D BETTER GET SUPERSTITIOUS.

ASK MY SISTERS!
OOH, SHE'S VICIOUS!
I PUT A SPELL ON YOU....
I PUT A SPELL ON YOU.
SISTERS!" - *SLAP SLAP.*

- what was that sound? Gaia Midler stopped singing for a moment, all the arrangements halted. The audience, which was either cowering in terror or singing along already (hey, what else.), also trancedly stood silent. Just to see a fat, vaguely bald man holding a pistol slapping his ass and taunting in some direction. Then, he ran away gleefully. That bizarre incident beyond the walls, Midler re-enticed its public.

"AH SAY ENTO PI ALPHA MABI UPENDI
AH SAY ENTO PI ALPHA MABI UPENDI
IN COMMA CORIYAMA
IN COMMA CORIYAMA
AY, AY, AYE, AYE, SAY BYE-BYYYYYYYYYYYE!" *CRASH.*

Yes. *CRASH.*. Suddenly, a very large truck tore through the walls, smashing both Evil Gaia Midler and Milon Ztreizand (who, poor thing, never had a shot to sing "Don't Rain In My Parade"...) up and into Brahne's S&M Tower of Torture. The truck's door opened, just to reveal the figure of a gentle, blind, sickly songstress accompanied by a bird. She tumbled through the crowd, nodding and vaguely scratching her head.

- Wait... isn't this the ice-cream parlor? Suo? Did I do a wrong turn?

And the crowd cheered.

Milon: 8
Evil_Gaia: 16
Shiho: 32

Tide
Shiho has already defeated Palmer. Palmer, the little fat bald man who drinks lard with his tea and is probably more evil than the two evils combined.

Hey it happened once, it can happen again!

Draco Ignifer
An epic battle between two titans... a duel that would change the shape of the world forever... a day that would always be remembered... is probably happening somewhere far away from the cave where Milon and Evil Gaia are having their sissyfight. At first, it seemed the heat death of the universe would declare the impropteau match a tie. Of course, looks can be decieving... sounds, however, can be much more accurate. And when Milon realized that RPGDL rules don't apply in bonuses, and Evil Gaia heard Milon's taunts suddenly change from English to Japanese, it became abruptly clear exactly what the outcome of the match would be. Hardtype Scarmiglione may not be one of the more feared bosses... but against a final boss on the level of post-Safter Sephiroth, that edge was far more than enough.

Alanna82
XD at the Shiho option XD

mepmep
Milon and Evil Gaia battled for hours on end, most of the audience had either left, fell asleep, or simply started chatting amongst themselves.

Finally, Lich entered the arena and Nuked them both. (yes it's legal here!)

The fans thought the match had been as boring as possible, but they were wrong... for the next few hours the two opponents lay unconscious on the ground after Lich's blast. Finally one of them slowly got up...