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Kefka (Final Fantasy VI) |
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Kefka has come a long way. Once he was a Godlike who couldn't catch a break, who choked in the finals repeatedly. Now, the DL's highest ranked fighter, he has defeated four of Godlike's finest champions in Piastol, Sephiroth, Fou-Lu, and now Yuna, and taken home a title himself. One goal remains: to become the third back-to-back Godlike champion. He is more worthy of this honour than any that came before him, and Zophar is going to learn that the hard way this week. Sure, Zophar's vaunted Fate Storm may be the one attack more feared than Kefka's Havoc Wing...but it comes with a long charge time, and Kefka's extreme speed means Zophar can't survive long enough to stop the mad clown from taking his second title, which he deserves every bit as much as the first. |
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He has reached this point before, and failed, but Zophar never stopped trying, never relented in his quest for the victory that was rightly his. Now, for only the third time in League history, two final bosses meet in the Godlike finals, and they will show no mercy - especially here, in a contest between pure, calculating evil and total, homicidal insanity. And for once, Zophar has all the combat power he needs to win. His high durability is practically infinite next to Kefka's pitiable HP, and even though the mad clown outspeeds him, Zophar has the damage to keep pace on the only count that matters; no matter who gets the most turns, Kefka will be the one lying defeated on the ground at the end of the fight, and Zophar will finally have the championship he has so long deserved. |
Infinity "So gentlemen, the question before us is whether we want the portrait of an extremely effeminant man, or that of an uncouth looking clown to grace the DL Hall of Champions" stated one of the four shadowy figures gathered around a table. "My good friend Vincent, I do believe that one picture of an ugly clown is quite more than enough, no?" "Ah, you are quite right, Simone. Despite his feminine appearance, Zophar still commands such presence! Augustine, Gordon, what are your thoughts?" "Please, not that moronic clown. He lacks such grace and style" "I concur with Augustine" "Then it is settled" said Vincent "We shall teach Zophar all he needs to know so that he can become the godlike champ!" --- A few hours later... "Tell me, little man, why I shouldn't destroy you on the spot?" "We have a common foe, my friend. We who value grace and beauty do not wish to see such a boarish man like Kefka winning. We are here to offer help" "And what help could you possibly give me? I could turn the entire arena into a fallout zone in the blink of an eye!" "Perhaps...a more subtle way of victory would be more satisfying? It is quite well known that little animals like Jogurt can withstand more damage than Kefka. We think it'd be much more entertaining and stylish to crush his spirit." "Interesting. Cunning. Evil. Tell me more and I'll consider it" "But of course, my friend. But of course..." --- The Championship Finals "Wahahahahahaahah! Little insect! Bug! You cannot stand up against my power!" screamed the maniacal clown. "Kefka!" Zophar's voice rumbled, shaking the arena stands "I must say, I really do admire your dress and make up! The drag queen look really suits you!" The crowd burst out into laughter. "Some accessories would make you look even better!" "Shut up! Shut up! Shut Up! I'll destroy you all!!" "We can debate your pitiful duelling abilities another time. Right now I'd like to give you a gift" With that, Zophar showered Kefka with four handfuls of roses. "Why you..." "Oh don't be so testy. Have some more gifts!" Zophar snapped his fingers and a stuffed moogle materialized in Kefka's hands while a baby chocobo that had been called in began to nuzzle against Kefka's leg" "Wha....what the...?" "Still not satisfied? You sure are tough to please. Very well then..." Zophar snapped his fingers again, summoning the Care Bears and Rainbow Brite. "Meet your new friends" "Would you like to come to Care-a-Lot with us?" invited Funshine Bear. "Or the End of the Rainbow?" chimed in Rainbow Brite. "Nooooooooooooo" Kefka broke down, sobbing. "So cute. Must join. No. Must destroy. No. Aaagh" "Destroying things isn't very nice. Come with use, we'll teach you how to be friendly and how to care for others!" offered True Heart Bear, taking Kefka by the hand while Brite took the other. "You'll learn all about how color makes the world a happy place" said Brite as they floated up, taking Kefka to lands unknown. "Uh...well...I guess Zophar wins." proclaimed Orlandu. "Zophar is our new Godlike Champ" "Hahahahaha! Even the mighty Kefka broke down before my power! I am Zophar, lord of evil!" "We didn't make a mistake did we, dear friend" "He is the lesser of two evils. We shall deal with Zophar next season. Soon, the DL shall produce nothing but aristocratic grace and beauty for its champions" Kefka: 31 sdf
Adumbro Deus
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