Greetings fellow people of Earth! Mystere bids you farewell as I, Captain Gordon, Defender of Earth, now join the ranks of beloved RPGDL hosts! So let us waste no time in starting the show!

Don't miss out on last week's results! Week One is over and done with, but I'm sure you'd love to find out who defeated who last week! Was the brave and lovely Rutee able to face down a goddess last week in Middle? Was the wise king Cai able to defeat a devilish tarot master in Light? And horror of horrors! Which of Godlike's ugliest monsters wound up with a shot in the semifinals next week?

Now dear readers, you'll want to head on over to The Arena, and take a look at all the fighters this week, their spirits blazing brightly as they come upon their chance to show what a true Defender's spirit is made out of!

In Light, a very respectable divison, we've got a brave little dog fighting against a high-flying dragon knight! Will this brave puppy be able to prove that there's more to him than meets the eye?

In an amazing discovery for the world, Princess Anastasia Romanov has been found! She's currently in the RPGDL, waiting for her Middle match against a masterful martial artist/dancer! Will this sighting of Miss Romanov be the last?

This week in Heavy, two powerful rulers -one living, one dead- go head-to-head in a very deadly battle! In a battle of evil vs. evil, which evil will triumph?

And finally in Godlike: yet another little dog that could rears his head to face off against a very dark opponent. Of course, this foe's darkness could be a little too much for this dog to handle! What will become of this brave canine spirit?

And dear readers, if you're just craving some strategic combat, head on over to The RPG Strategy League and check it out! The brave and awesome Captain Gordon, hero to children everywhere, leads the battle! Aided by the multi-purpose Super Robot Thursday, as well as his assistant Jennifer, Captain Gordon is not about to let anything or anyone harm the innocent! Join him on our adventure, as he tries to save both the continent of Elibe, as well as the Netherworld! The sanctity of the entire universe rests on these battles!

Don't forget to stop by the RPGDL Forums, dear readers! You can't miss the exciting new tournaments and discussions popping up each and every day. As a Defender of Earth, I highly suggest you make the forums your new place to gather and congregate!

And now, without further ado, it's Chisato Madison, representing the best in RPG entertainment:
Ugh, I'll never get the stench of sidekick out of my chair now.
I'll have you know that I won Exdeath's "Most Hygenic Lackey" award seven years in a row!
Congratulations. I'm sure that nobody but someone who ever took a shower could take that prize.
Welcome to Behind the Scenes, the show where we take you... well, behind the scenes. I'm Chisato Madison, these are my cronies, and we're ready to start!
Whoa! What's the rush?
I have to be at the courthouse in an hour for the trial. If there's one thing I learned last week, it's that I have to take my journalism more seriously. Otherwise, I'll end up hosting one of those sleazy talk shows, and...
Chief, that boat sailed a long time ago.
Remind me to hurt you later. Now, for Light.
Introducing Kain Highwind, and Gobi.
Hi.
Hello, my loving shoppers!
Kain, I know you're a bit angry about staying in Light, when Cecil and Rosa are both decent Heavies. Do you think your luck is going to improve this week?
Oh, no. You're not going to do this to me.
Pardon me?
You're all trying to get me to act overconfident and claim that this is my season, the time when I finally prove that I'm better than people have said. And then, when I lose, you'll mock me and call me a braggart and a fool!
Well, we do that to most people. Still, you can't be worried this week, right? I mean, you're fighting a dog.
That's no ordinary dog. You can tell by the way it barks, with its vicious "Ruf! Ruf!"
I thought Kogoro went "Wuffy-wuf".
No, he goes "Awoo".
You're all wrong. He goes "bow wow whoa, let me go, let me know".
...
I'm just going to leave now.
And once again, it's proven that respect can actually reach a negative total.
Anyway, Kain...
The bitemarks and the howling... no, get away!
Gilgamesh, go and get the sedatives.
Right.
Gobi, hi. I just want to make it quite clear. I don't want to hear a word about your stores. I don't care, and believe it or not, I don't hate you as much as most of my other guests. Please don't make me launch you into the stratosphere.
All right.
So, what have you been doing lately? We haven't heard much from you.
I can't answer that.
Come on, you have to have done something other than run your shop. Don't you have any hobbies?
Boss, he's a Manillo. They eat, sleep, and breathe business. Maybe you could ask him about the weather or something.
Is it going to rain? I just got a new shipment of umbrellas in and... oops.
Oh, Gobi. Why did you have to go and do that?
It just spilled out. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, too. Goodbye.
Byeeeee!
Sometimes I hate this job. Then I remember that I honestly don't like anyone but myself, and it all works out.
Thank goodness for small miracles.
On to Middle, where the thief and the tick-tock girl await.
Hey, I don't go around insulting you, do I?
Greetings.
Yuffie, you have the bad luck to face off with our reigning Light champ. What do you think about that?
Hey, she can't be too powerful if she was in Light.
Hey!
I'm not too worried. Heck, if she's really tough, the Conformer will even up the score. I just hope she doesn't pick me up and start flying. That would suck.
I can imagine. Why did you decide to enter this season?
It's all about the gil, baby. If I have a good showing, I'll get endorsement contracts, comped rooms and food. In short, I'll be living the good life!
That does not seem to be a worthy goal. If you wished fame and fortune, you would have been more careful with that which you had gotten when you defeated Sephiroth.
Who asked you?
Forgive me, I did not mean to insult you. I was merely stating what I saw as the facts.
Now, now, let's not bicker. It would be a waste of a catfight to use it on you and the tomboy.
You are a pig.
You said it. Let's get him!
Hey, ladies, we can talk this over... Chisato, could I get a little help here?
There's no time, I have to go to the TimeLord trial. Ultros, you do the rest of the interviews.
Got it, chief. On to Heavy, with Flame Champion Hugo and primitive cavegirl Ayla.
Hello.
Ayla here, but where loud girl?
She's busy, honey. Hugo, I just have to be sure of something - you can control that rune, right? I don't want to end up frying just because you get angry or something.
Don't worry. If you end up charred, it'll be because I wanted you to be.
Isn't that reassuring. Well, you're finally back, and you don't have to face someone who absorbs fire. Think you can win?
Of course. I also think I can lose. Have you seen Ayla? She's got more muscles than even Emily!
Ayla strong! Ayla not lose!
Of course, sugar. Hugo, I've got to ask this one - do you and Lucia dye your hair?
No.
Ayla hair no die either!
Please, sweetie...
No wait! Big fishie man no patronize Ayla, or Ayla make head squish into body!
...How in the world do you know what "patronize" means?
I'm back with the sedatives.
Just in time to save me! Help!
Oh, no you don't!
Give me those shots, you take care of Godlike.
Fine.
Oh ladies, look what Uncle Ulty has for you...
Finally, introducing Riou Genkaku. Hey, cannon fodder!
...
Come on, you know we love you here. Still, Galcian's a little out of your league, right?
...
Don't you take that tone with me, sir! I have to try and make this interview intersting since you don't want to talk, and the easiest way is to to try and make you cry. If you weren't so boring, I wouldn't have to be overly mean.
...
No, we don't want to talk about your parental issues. Goodbye.
Is that it? Can you say goodnight now?
I think so. Hey, if you and Morte are over there, and Odin and Chisato are gone, and I'm here, then who's running the cam-