Bonjour, greetings, and welcome back to the RPGDL, dear readers! Yet another spectacular week has gone by, bringing us one step closer to the awe-inspiring season finals! It's semi-finals week, Week Four of Season Thirteen, and we hope you're just as excited as we are! First off, you'll want to head on over and check out last week's results. Were Glenn and Karsh, sole survivors of the Chrono Cross invasion, able to hold their own against their (most likely superior) opponents? Was Hector, the brave and mighty lord of Ostia, able to strike down the Sinistral of Chaos? And was Kefka, everyone's favourite Mad Clown, able to send Seymour to his final resting place? Find out for yourself, inside, dear readers! Now that you're caught up on last week's happenings, it's time to check out This Week's Bouts! In the renowned Light division, the famous revolutionary Viktor squares off not against a rat, a man, or a knife-wielding monkey - but a duck. Who will sink, and who will swim, in this battle of titanic powerhouses? In Middle, Rune Walsh continues his dominating conquest of Middle, this week faced with yet another battle of magic against science - will the will of Lutz triumph, or will Rikku mix for the overconfident esper a very unappetizing loss? In Heavy, Chaos rears its ugly head, looming closer and closer to a complete domination of the Heavy division. But lo and behold, a lone warrior steps out to face the encroaching darkness - a girl...a catgirl? Can Rika succeed where many have failed? And finally, in Godlike, Babe Ruth's long-lost son gets ready to face the big leagues...the really big leagues. Will he score a grand slam against his oversized opponent? Find out inside, dear readers! The fun doesn't stop there, though. Make sure to hop on over to The RPG Strategy League, and get a glimpse of how the war in the World of Balance is turning out. With Setzer on the side of good, tricked on the minute details of a bet, Celes, Terra, Locke and Setzer set their path towards Figaro castle, eager to meet up with their comrades. Meanwhile, at Narshe, Gilgamesh's troops have mutinied, causing both his and his new ally Edgar's soldiers to break off and reatreat for the time being. On the other side of the fence, General Leo sets up an ambush for the pursuing Doma soldiers, intent on taking the warrior spirit of Doma down for good. The fate of the world hangs in the balance: who shall triumph, and who shall falter? Only you can decide, dear readers! And finally, stop on over by the RPGDL Forums, and register an account. You'll be able to have lots of fun on our message boards, discussing the finer points of the DL with the staff, or ranting and raving about whatever comes to mind. We're a tight-knit community, eager to grow - and we don't bite, so come on in! Due to recent events, Chisato Madison will not be here to do the Behind the Scenes episode. Her staff, however, wishes to keep the show going, and so without further ado, I bring you this week's episode of Behind the Scenes: Alright fleshbags, one more time. One, two, three, go! Rock! Rock! Gyah! We’ve been doing this for the past two hours, and somehow you two freaks keep drawing the exact same thing! Gee…what are the chances of that happening? Depressingly low. Can you guys get this straightened out sometime in the next century? Oooohhhh! Can we do the game one more time? I think I know how to solve the problem we’ve been having. Fine, whatever. If it doesn’t work out this time, though, it’s a fight to the death. That game they’re playing looks fun, but what exactly are they doing? It’s a game of rock-paper-scissors, girly. Since Chisato ran out on us last week, we’ve been trying to pick up the pieces. As I am the only one qualified to be hosting a show of this caliber… That’s for sure. Silence you. Now, as I said, since I’m the only one here capable of hosting this wonderful show, these two kids here are fighting over who gets to co-host. So what happens to the loser? Oh, I think you misunderstand: they’re both losers. It makes sense. Wait a second…how did…weren’t you eaten last week? How did you get out of that mess? …do you really want to know? Actually… Enough! Keep your fantasies to yourself, Moppy. Skip the rock-paper-scissors game: let’s just start this show. I think I’ll just head on over to the cameras like usual. Good squid. Now, let’s start with the introductions. Welcome back to another exciting episode of Behind the Scenes! As you all might know, Chisato Madison will not be with us this week, and possibly next week as well. But never fear, the show must still go on! I, Morte, your trusty neighborhood Mimir, will be taking her place. Now, bring out the scrubs! Right on! This week’s Light guests include Gryz and Vinsfeld, from Phantasy Star Four and Wild ARMs Two, respectively. Perfect. So, let’s begin. Gryz…I don’t like your name. E, excuse me? You heard me: your name is awful. Gryz? Graze? Reminds me of one of those National Geographic episodes, where the gazelle starts prancing around, happily eating the sun-baked grass…then a lion comes by and eats him. Er… … In fact, I think I hear a savannah predator making his way onto the stage right now… Savannah whaaaaaaaaaaaa! Hey, isn’t that… Yeah, Fu Su Lu, from Suikoden. He makes a good guard cat. Now, with that bird thing out of the way, let’s move on to Vinsfeld. How ya’ doing, Vinny? …Vinny? Yes, that’s what I said. Do you not understand the words that are coming out of my mouth? Now, tell me about this terrorist organization of yours. Does it help to feed the homeless, give shelter to the needy, or anything of the sort? Wha? Of course it doesn’t! It’s a terrorist organization! We blow stuff up! That’s the cue. Alright boys, move on in! Gotcha’ covered. Hey, wait! Son of a…you’ll pay for this you Shakespeare prop reject! Ah, music to my ears. Now, what’s next? Middle? Grah, the most boring of all divisions. Oh well, bring the freaks out. Ok. Looks like it’s Karsh and Rune this week for Middle guests. Ah, finally, my turn. Now, I believe I have a very important matter to…what are you doing? I’m eating my lunch. Why are you doing that here, right now? Because your voice is making me hungry. Why you…I’ll teach you not to ignore me… Yo, Wugui! Yo, brother Morte. You want me to take this guy out to the cleaners? Please do. …eep. Now, let’s talk to the last remaining member of the Chrono Cross invasion…hey, where’d he go? It looks like he got up and left. That’s pretty smart for a Chrono Cross character. Eh, I’ll give him credit for being smart and ducking out early. However, I won’t give him credit for making it through the minefield. Minefield? When did you set that up? Couple days ago. Keeps the Mormons away. Now, Moppy, call out the Heavy guests, and the sole Godlike one: I want to get this done fast. Only one Godlike guest? Myria was originally scheduled as the second guest, but after last week, she’s been impossible to get in contact with. So just call out Rika, Garland and Seymour. You just did. See? I have to do everything around here. I tell you, stupid good-for-nothings. Er…welcome, guests. Yeah, whatever. So Rika, still hyper as ever? You bet! I’ll beat up that nasty armoured guy, and then I’ll join Chaz in Godliiiiiiiiiiikkkkkkkkeeeeeeeee! Yep, still hyper as ever. Ye gods I can’t stand people like that. Zzzzzz…. Hey Morte, it looks like the old guy fell asleep. Oh, we can’t have that happen, now can we? Hey, buddy! Er…are you sure biting him is a good idea? Of course it’s a good idea. See? He’s waking up. *yawn* I’ll knock…you…all down…zzzzzzzz… Well, guess that’s not going to work. So Seymour, how’s un-death treating you? It has its ups, and its downs…though, far more ups than downs. Right. So, lemme ask you something: how do you get your hair like that? Herbal Essence of course. It cleanses my roots and makes me feel like a real man. Really? I’ll have to make a note of that. And with that disturbing thought out in the open, I think we’ll be closing up shop for this week. Still no sign of Chisato? None whatsoever, though I’m starting to like this gig. Give her a week, and I’m sure she’ll be back. She might be riding some hell-beast bent on devouring our souls, but she’ll be back. So it’ll be like every other week? Hehehehehe. Anyway, this ends another episode of Behind the Scenes. Tune in next week, when we interview the Season Thirteen finalists, same time, same place. Also, who knows, maybe Chisato will make her triumphant return next week, and you surely wouldn’t want to miss that. This is Ultros signing out!