 | Gentlemen, it has come to my attention that there is a recent viral outbreak going on.
|
 | Current events, Nate? Have we really gone so low?
|
 | What's next, sports?
|
 | Sssh! Don't say the S-word, you'll scare off our fanbase!
|
| Hey, this is serious! You could end up with mild flu symptoms!
|
 | Such as inflammation, achy joints, and fever?
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| The very same! So, as an extra precaution, I've decided to provide sanitation napkins at a reduced rate...from 4:40-4:45 am on Thursdays. Of course, you could just not pay....and suffer the consequences!
|
| Eh. Sea creature, your viruses don't affect me.
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| I'm not even really sure what the hell I'm supposed to be. Pass.
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| Immortal. Pass.
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| Already dead. Pass.
|
 | Not human. Pass.
|
| Well, fine. Be that way. If you'll excuse me, there's some miracle cure snake oil I need to sell to people who aren't a collection of freaks and higher powers.
|
| Good luck with that in the DL. Anywho...
|
| Yeah, yeah, we're always ready before you drag yourself into the studio.
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| Just checking, no need to be so snippy. Hello again, readers! As I'm sure you well know, it's the midpoint of Season 51, and the point where things get serious. With many duellers already eliminated, the remaining slots are going to get tight. Time to see how this affects the people fighting in the arena, yes? And what better way to start than with two people that are already dangerously unhinged? So say hello to Luca and Melfice!
|
 | A pleasure as always, Chisato.
|
 | Ahh, Luca, how are you today?
|
| Why, just fine, thank you for asking.
|
| Glad to hear it. So how's the kingdom?
|
| Things have been going smoothly. How are things on your end?
|
| Good! My little bro has grown up so fast....sigh.
|
| Tell me about it.
|
| Oddly this is creepier than the usual "Kill, murder, hate, blargh" routine.
|
| Oh, pish-posh. Just because you massacre a few villages...
|
| Just because I have this Horn of Valmar doesn't mean I'm a bad guy.
|
| But...you're possessed by a demon.
|
| No Ultros you are the demons.
|
| And then Ultros was a...wait a minute!
|
| Anywho, I fully acknowledge Meflice's speed and battle prowness. I look forward to our match.
|
| Luca can take hits like nothing else and does good damge himself. It'll be a fun fight.
|
| Well, look at the time! I'm late for the Save Adopted Kittens Campaign!
|
| And I need to hurry up to my Puppies For Everyone Initiative meeting!
|
| Well, who knew? Next up...
|
 | Hello there! You can call me Nikki!
|
 | Why do I always get the peppy ones?
|
| Hey, it was either this or the one that totally walls everything you do.
|
| True...
|
| Don't be such a grouch. It'll be fun! We'll give them a good show.
|
| No, you'll try to use your Instant Death attack and I'll try to slice you into ribbons before you get the chance. It'll take 5 minutes either way.
|
| What is your problem?
|
| I...are you blind?
|
| No, just dumb. Well, since you so succintly cleared up the battle plan for us, I think we don't need to carry on with this any further.
|
| Good.
|
| Oh, you're going to get a beating.
|
| That's nice. Why don't you run along now? Grownups are talking.
|
| See you around.
|
 | I dunno. He doesn't look that bad to me.
|
 | Well, I imagine flying jellyfish have a very differnt perspective.
|
| Eh, it's all a big tapestry in which we all are woven.
|
| I guess it's too much to ask that you could come up with a decent analogy right off the bat.
|
| I'm more about the ice magic, myself.
|
| Ahh, magic, who doesn't like that? Healing, buffs, status...
|
| I...I have ice magic.
|
| And that's pretty neat.
|
| Booooring.
|
| Only boring people are bored.
|
| Whatever. I don't have time for this, there are faceless, character-less activities I could be doing!
|
| Welp.
|
| Hmm. Things are moving along nicely.
|
| Funny how that happens when the characters don't even care about themselves.
|
| What, you'd rather have some freaking essays on battle strategies that basically boil down to "hit fleshy parts with sharp end'?
|
| Now, Gil, we both kn-
|
| Shush. Now onto our final guest, which is....
|
 | The luckiest Fiend in the whole world. I mean, Gobi and now this loser? Who's next, Jogurt?
|
 | Hey! I can do...stuff.
|
| Heck, this'll be fun. Who knew that the DL becomes a more inviting place when every match is a gimmie?
|
| I'll show you! With my....attacks and...stuff. What was it I did again?
|
| I can't wait to see the smug look wiped off Cagnazzo's face when he fails to advance as far as me. Of course, he's one measly division higher, but...
|
| I think I used a...cutlass or something? I dunno.
|
| So really, things are looking up for me!
|
| Glad to hear it.
|
| Well, I'll do...whatever it is I do. And then you'll see. Oh yes, you'll see!
|
| Confident words. Confused, generic, confident words.
|
| And that's a wrap. Good work everyone.
|
| How'd the sales pitch go?
|
| I don't want to talk about it right now. If you'll excuse me I'm going to have a money fight.
|
| Well, unless somebody else has something to contribute...
|
| Nope.
|
| Well then. Until next time, Readers!
|
I, Kazan, bid you welcome to the RPG Dueling League, dedicated to the art of pitting the greatest warriors of the RPG Multiverse against each other in honourable combat! Within lies the greatest showcase of fighting talent you will ever lay your eyes upon!