 | Well, Nate, I have to be honest. I didn't think you had it in you.
|
 | That's all right.
|
 | I have to say I'm very impressed, boss.
|
 | Yeah, way to do the right thing.
|
| I'm glad you think so.
|
 | When I grow up, I want to be just like Nate.
|
| That's...uh...something, I guess.
|
 | Seriously, though, good job.
|
| Ah, come on, you guys. Beating Jade's ugly face in was just a matter of course.
|
| Watching him cry is one of my most cherished moments.
|
| I took some pictures after it was over. I'll make copies.
|
| Another memory for my scrapbook!
|
| So...anyway...
|
| Start the show. Gotcha.
|
| Ready when you are, Chief.
|
| You know the drill by now, Readers, don't you? It's week 4, and things are finally beginning to wind down in Season 45. With just 4 fighters per division, competition for a coveted championship has begun to ramp up to high levels. Just who will make it to the Finals next week? To begin answering that question, let me introduce our very own Nate Nanjo, and Xorn!
|
| What? It's my show, dammit.
|
 | LOVE, Perish, etc. Say, Nate, good job last week.
|
| What can I say? Jade's a wimp.
|
| But enough about that. I'm just too good. I'm twice the dueller Jade is.
|
| What, like, ranking-wise?
|
| Eh?
|
| I don't even know how you'd figure that out. I guess just use the upper and lower ranked Godlikes and go from there...
|
| Hold on, I left my calculator somewhere.
|
| You'll need graph paper! Everybody likes having graph paper!
|
| It's like drawing a picture, except people respect you for it!
|
| ...Math.
|
| Oh, Xorn. What do you think if we-
|
| MATH MUST PERISH AFTER LOVE! DO NOT SPEAK TO ME OF MATH!
|
| So you're back to that now, eh?
|
| Boring.
|
| Somebody never finished High School.
|
| Alright, Xorn, get lost. As for Heavy...
|
 | T260G.
|
 | Red.
|
| Fancy meeting you here.
|
| This ought to be quite the match.
|
| Alkaiser vs. Omega Body. Who will win?
|
| I'm not afraid. Can anyone stand up against a Superhero in this division?
|
| Don't be so confident. I come from your game, I know all your weaknesses. Like bullets.
|
| Hey, I know your weaknesses too! Like Lightning!
|
| Which you can't really exploit...
|
| Or failing that, punching!
|
| Yes. Punching. Punching the steel robot.
|
| Well, that is...It's not really puncing, it's...complicated, you know??
|
| You being allergic to lead is not. Ergo, I win.
|
| Hard to argue with that.
|
| Except for the fact that being riddled with bullets is basically just a day in the life of th usual RPG hero, much less a superhero. So I don't think you're going to go far with that logic, scrap heap.
|
| ...
|
| There's a cheerful thought for you to think about during the match. Cheers!
|
| Very well. Moving right along...
|
 | I'm back!
|
 | I'm hungry. When is this going to be over?
|
| Not very long. Okay, Menardi, do your thing.
|
| I...really?
|
| Yep. Making fun of you has become incredibly passe. Just talk about the match.
|
| But...I didn't expect you to actually let me talk about the match.
|
| What, did you come unprepared?
|
| NO! I just...left my notes. Yeah, that's it. They're in my, uh, car. Be right back!
|
| I hope she left snacks in her car too.
|
| So what the hell are you, anyway?
|
| What?
|
| I mean, you're some secret dragonrider society person, but what's with those ears? Are you an elf or something?
|
| I dunno.
|
| How can you not know?
|
| Look at Xorn. Do you really think the people that made G3 actually cared enough about the plot to give some semblance of a backstory? They just shoved a bunch of anime cliches in a blender and served it up with a healthy dose of Narm.
|
| I suppose you have a point, there.
|
| All this mouth movement and no food inside it. I'm out of here.
|
| Okay, I'm back! ...Hey, where'd he go?
|
| Sorry, Menardi. He's gone.
|
| But...I was going to be taken seriously...
|
| Not anymore. Please leave so we can finish this.
|
| NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
|
| Ah, the satisfying sound of crushed dreams.
|
 | CAN WE DO THIS ALREADY? TRAFFIC OUT OF HERE IS ALWAYS SUCH A PAIN, I'D LIKE TO GET A HEADSTART. ALSO, DO YOU VALIDATE TICKETS HERE OR WHAT?
|
 | Stop yelling!
|
| YELLLING? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
|
| Little girl vs. The Knight of CAPS LOCK. Two enter. One leaves. Dignity not allowed.
|
| IT'S NOT EXACTLY A DREAM MATCH, I HAVE TO SAY.
|
| I don't back down from a good fight!
|
| OH COME ON, YOU CAN'T SERIOUSLY THINK YOU CAN-OW! MY SHINS!
|
| Take that, evildoer!
|
| OW! OW! OW! HEY, CUT IT OUT! MAKE HER STOP! THAT REALLY HURTS, YOU LITTLE-MY INNER THIGHS!
|
| That's it, Relm. Work the femoral artery!
|
| I always feel so confident in the younger generation when I see them at battle. She's like a little bloodthirsty me.
|
| Except not a deep-sea horror.
|
| Yeah, well, we all have flaws, Gil.
|
| If you two hens are about finished clucking, I say we should wrap this up.
|
| Agreed. Chisato, the usual.
|
| That's it for Week 4! As always, make sure and vote for who you think will win the week's matches, and make sure and come back for the Finals during Week 5! Goodbye from everybody at Behind the Scenes! |
I, Kazan, bid you welcome to the RPG Dueling League, dedicated to the art of pitting the greatest warriors of the RPG Multiverse against each other in honourable combat! Within lies the greatest showcase of fighting talent you will ever lay your eyes upon!