 | Well, isn’t this season just wonderfully entertaining. First, we got Mr. and Mrs. Always Win in Godlike…
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 | Zophar is not a gi-
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| Oh? Gone spelunking into Final Boss Genitalia, have we?
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 | Sure. What better place to hide all his dignity?
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| Says the skull that was so busy scoping the cleavage of rat girls.
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 | To be fair, that was before Fall From Grace joined the party.
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| Still counts, though.
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| Look, when you end up stuck in a crypt full of horribly scarred zombies your standards take a bit of a blow, alright?
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| …and the Heavy contestants have the collective personality of your average rock.
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| Alex has personality. I mean, most of it is either “DRAGONMASTER!” or “LUNA!” but it’s there.
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| Middle has some flaming chicken thing. It’s unnatural, I tell you!
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 | I know! When are they going to get the real heavyweights out like Delibird or Magikarp?
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 | And you wonder why you didn’t beat the first gym leader.
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| But Delibird is so cute! How can he fail?
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| Well, Light did have Tony beating the crap out of a bunch of kids. That was cool.
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| Word.
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| As much as physically assaulting minors is great, can we get the show started now?
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| Does a Usaring crap in the woods?
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| Yes?
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| That wasn’t…you see, I wasn’t really asking….have you heard of a rhetorical…ahh, screw it. Chisato, start the show.
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| Week 4! Semifinals! I bet you can’t wait to get started, and neither can the fun-loving group that makes up Behind the Scenes! Our crack team of octopi, sword-obsessed monstrosities, janitorial gods, and millionaire schizophrenics are ready to give info on all the characters you love to endlessly mock. To start things off, give a warm welcome to our Godlikes, Emelious and Zophar.
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 | MWAHAHAHAH! HAHAHAHHAHA! I WILL DESTROY EVERYTHING!
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 | For some reason you sound really familiar.
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| Well, Emelious. Another victory and you may end up facing your own god. Getting a Zio vibe?
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| Well, I’ll probably end up learning to love again for no real reason and getting killed off, like last time, but until then it’ll be sweet. And to answer your other question, no, I’m not worried about Fate Storm. I have my own Ultra Death Move, after all.
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| The one that takes Eternity and a day to use?
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| The one that you have to use after learning the meaning of pain from the DL’s own Massive Damage Machine?
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| Yeah, good luck with that one, little buddy.
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| But, but…it’s so awesome, you don’t even know.
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| BUNCH OF PUNKS IN GODLIKE THESE DAYS. OH WELL, MAYBE I’LL GET A CHANCE TO CRUSH THAT UPSTART XORN. I’LL SHOW HIM A THING OR TWO ABOUT THE EVILS OF LOVE!
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| You..didn’t just mean that…
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| THAT…THAT REALLY SOUNDED FAR MORE BADASS IN MY HEAD.
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| Guess you were thinking with the wrong one?
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| Ba-dum-pish.
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| OH, SHUT UP. YOU’LL SEE, YOU’LL ALL SEE!
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| Yeah, yeah. That’s nice. Okay, moving right along, for heavy we have…
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 | I’m glad I didn’t have to fight…that. I mean, Ghaleon was evil and everything, but at least you knew he was a dude.
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 | Nice to see you again, Chisato.
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| On the other hand…
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| Shush. Well, Artea. You’re looking well. Thoughts on the match?
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| Alex is tough, but I have plenty of tricks up my sleeve.
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| All of which will last precisely zero seconds before I cut you in half.
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| Uh-huh. You can’t kill me in a attrition war, and your damage isn’t that good enough. You’re screwed.
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| But I have…THE HAT!
//SO2_Chisato+4~/ …
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| People are usually impressed when I say that.
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| Need a dramatic music swell.
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| Oh, how silly of me. Take 2: But I have…THE HAT! Bum dah dah buuuuum!
//SO2_Chisato+4~/ Whoa…
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| Aww yeah.
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| Clearly no more words can be spoken. Let us merely skip on ahead to Middle, with…
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 | Boo.
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 | BLAZE!
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| How are you guys?
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| Dead and rotting. You?
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| KEN! BLAZE BLAZE BLAZE! KEN!
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| This was a brilliant idea. Lich, the match?
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| It’ll be a long time before I lose to some punk-ass poultry. I mean, kickboxing is great and all, but I’m not really weak to anything besides Fire.
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| …BLAZE?
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| No, I don’t think he has any idea that Pokemon can be dual-typed either.
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| Typical 8-bit plotting.
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| Outsmarted by a 9 year old gi-
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| Trapped in a void saving a bunch of soulless clo-
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| Killed by a nerd with an eternal hardon for a goddess.
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| What?
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| Oh, uh. I think I misunderstood what they were doing.
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| …..Moving right along….
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 | Hey Chisato.
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 | Yeah hi. Can we get this done? I want to get some more Brooding Mysteriously in.
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| If you’re so eager, why don’t you start by explaining how Opera isn’t going to blast you to bits this week?
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| Are you kidding? I’ve taken one far more dangerous enemies than that three-eyed freak. I mean, look at her. Probably a replica to boot.
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| Just because your game is clone-happy doesn’t mean it happens to everybody. I’m just an alien.
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| Oh, just an alien. That’s far more reasonable.
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| Look, it was the ultra-future. Either you buy the concept or you don’t. Makes as much sense as your magic, anyway.
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| Pfft, whatever. Look, can I go now?
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| By all means. Try not to get OHKO’ed by a mushroom on the way out.
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| Grrr. “No need to change equipment, Asch” I said. “There’s no way that replica and his friends will catch up to you” I said. Why must I bet against the PC’s?
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| Might as well ask “Why are all villains at some level complete idiots?”
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| Because the heroes make them fight down to their level, of course.
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| Reasonable enough. But looks like we’re done here. Let’s go, team.
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| Wonder if I can get anybody to trade for my awesome Bidoof….
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| Gil? Thinking what I’m thinking?
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| Chucking swords at Asch and watching him cry? You’re on!
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| Well, there you have it, readers! This is the gang at Behind the Scenes, signing off! |
I, Kazan, bid you welcome to the RPG Dueling League, dedicated to the art of pitting the greatest warriors of the RPG Multiverse against each other in honourable combat! Within lies the greatest showcase of fighting talent you will ever lay your eyes upon!