I don't know about you, signors, but the first week of a new season in the glorious Monstrous Pit infuses me with so much GUSTO that it's all I can do to stand still! The fights! The crowds! The intrigue! WHAT A WEEK, SIGNORS! Still, here are the Results for the conclusion of Season 34.

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Many of you already know Nate from his appearance in Behind the Scenes. In addition to being filthy rich and able to keep that group of rabble in line, Nate is also quite the fighter. His useful Persona allow him to block many dangerous attacks, and the abilities granted from his magical powers make him quite the force to be reckoned with. A relatively fresh face in the arena, Nate should be quite capable of handling himself, though you could say the same thing about X-Death! The brunt of many tree jokes, the final boss of Final Fantasy V is still a deserving Godlike, with his gobs of HP and punishing attacks that are a staple of that series. Of course, Nate might prove to be tricky to damage, but X-death has a pretty varied skillset, after all. On the flip side, can Nate get through that HP without running out of resources? I guess we'll see, ay?

In Heavy, this week, we have a match of entirely new blood. Marcello, from Dragon Quest 8, is coming into this match with his double-acting boss form, using both his rapier and the magical staff that was the source of so many troubles. Ernst is from Suikoden V, and has his human form with its various skills and abilities. The most important of which stuns any opponent in the game for one turn. This may be what he needs to get the edge on Marcello, but don't forget that he has those double acts, and once you get past Ernst's abilites he's quite frail, which is good for Marcello because his damage is only so-so for a Heavy. Both are eager to prove themselves in the Monstrous Pit, which should make this match a good one, signors!

Karsh hails from CC, but the stigma surrounding that cast's duelling strength has not touched him whatsoever, and for good reason, as he is quite the capable contestant. But Beowulf is no slouch either. Karsh can't heal, but Beowulf can use his draining ability to both heal his own wounds and inflict new ones on his opponent..assuming he can hit him, which is never sure! In addition, he can try his various status moves, which could end the fight or merely waste turns, depending upon the hitrate. Meanwhile, Karsh does his usual axe-swinging and hopes that he hits the crunchy bits before his HP runs out. If he gets Beowulf on the defensive early, he could very well dominate this match and come out the victor. But there's no saying what can happen in the Monstrous Pit, as you know.

Ard is a man of few words. As the silent part of his duo, he is also the main muscle, and his Dump Truck Tackle proves that he can mix it up as well as any mini-boss. He's also slow, which gives his opponent, the ultra-speedy but frail Jane Maxwell, an advantage. She should be able to double-turn Ard constantly, and while her individual shots don't do much damage, it adds up quite quickly. All the same, Ard only has to get in a few shots in order to put Jane in serious trouble, which puts all her advantages to naught. Still, it's much easier said than done, and if Jane manages to get her ID Blown Away attack or dodge some attacks, Ard may be given several new, bleeding holds courtesy of Jane's ARM.

In addition to the above, we have plenty more matches waiting for you in the confines of the Monstrous Pit!

Week 1 has plenty in store for you, so it's understandable if you're a little confused about the matches. In that case, stop by the Season 35, Week 1 Topic!

**Everyone, listen! Have you ever wanted to take part in our Bonus Matches? Have you ever had a great idea you thought would make an awesome match? Well here's your chance! Just go to the Bonus Match Ideas Post and read all about it!

So, signors, that's the opening salvo of our new Season. Tune back in next week for the second round, and make sure to partcipate in the fun of the Monstrous Pit! I'll see you then. Now, enjoy the whacky and often violent fun of Behind the Scenes!
It's time for another tramua inducing season of Behind the Scenes. I'm your host and all around violent tyrant, Chisato Madison.
I'm lookin good. A stylin new picture to go along with my equally new awesome form!
Like hell I'm going to let Moppy upstage me.
Bah. You and your constant picture changing, Gilgamesh. Some of us are too sexy for all that.
By that, you mean me. Sexy's a good word of the day, as I'm back in Godlike, ready to beat down some stupid tree.
..Stupid tree? That isn't...
<_< >_>. Finally. I return. Did anyone miss meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?!
Didn't even let him finish his idiotic spiel. Harsh, Nate.
But fair.
Like I'm going to give my opponent any airtime on BtS.
So let me guess, we aren't interviewing any of the other Godlikes?
Correct.
No one even noticed his shiny new outfit. *Sniff* Oh well, enough about him. Let's talk about me. VP2's best and brighest fighter, Odin of the Aesir. For too long I was held down by the mop. I embrace it now, but that's not the point. Now that I have a full battle form, there's no way that I can be stopped. Nothing.
That sounds like a challenge to me.
What the hell are you doing here, skirtboy? You aren't even in this season.
Psch. Details. The rising star of Forsena's heard enough of Odin's pathetic whining. Be it rain or snow, wind or calm. No weather can stop the incredible talents of the White Wolf. Taking down Odin is just one more mountain for me to climb single handily. You have been warned. Never let it be said that Vaynard lacks fairness or a sense of honor.
Yeah, just ask Lyonesse that.
Your hour of doom is not yet at hand, squid. First I must take down the one who so insulted greatest tactican the DL has ever seen.
I feel a kindered spirit. Even though we once fought, he truly sees more than most.
As do I. Vaynard's words stir at my cold, dead heart in a way Yulie never could.
I too had a woman I cared deeply about. Her words were but a pale memory compared to the verbal poetry that is Vaynard's speeches.
...
Odin, kindly remove Vaynard. He's not supposed to be here.
You've got it, boss. Spiritual Lancer!
ARGH!
No matter how many times I see it, Odin actually being able to fight never stops being weird.
What I want to know is how did he lose his limit move at full life.
Chisato beat him up earlier for stealing the last donut.
Wonder if there's any chance Vaynard survived the attack.
*Thud*
Lord Vaynard!
That'd be a no.
My world is cold again.
Nothing is worth living for.
This is the Omnislash of failures. I don't care if they're supposed to be here, someone get those two wankers out of my sight.
Yo yo yo. The only way to settle this phat feud is to bust a rhyme or two!
Seifer! You're returned to guide me again!
Not yet, O-to the D. Keep it fresh till I spit out some ownage for these lamers. My name is Seif and my game is good. I bake cookies and come out with dough. Ya'll two got what's going on, now stop fighting and hear this song.
Forget Vaynard.
Lord Seifer truly speaks the truth.
Let me guess, Odin booked guests?
Even by his standards this is bad.
I booked the biggest losers I find to make myself look better. Master Seifer coming was just a bonus.
Morte, do we have any evil bastards in heavy who'd like some free airtime?
I'm here.
Ready and willing.
Go maim the losers.
MY SWORDIAN, SHATTERED!
WHY WON'T THE PAIN STOP?!
SEIF'S NOT DOWN WITH THIS!!
WHY AM I BEING PUNISHED?!!?
Because he said losers.
Did not know it was possible to shove one person in anothe-
Our viewers don't need that image.
That was fun.
You're an evil bastard, Marcello. That was some fine backstabbing.
You two are villians in a similiar mold. Any thoughts about your opponents?
Ernst's got a decent rune, but I'm not worried. If Rhapthorne can't stop me, what can a little cat do?
My opponent's more concerned with hitting on the young women in Heavy.
Would you girls like to spend some time in my lab? It has candy. You like candy, don't you?
Ewwwwww!
Pervert!
A man after my own rotted heart.
I see your points. Good luck and thanks again for that maiming.
Seconded. Gentlemen, have fun. I myself am off to beat the fail out of X-Death.
My pleasure.
Mine too.
While I'd like to say we had our fill of middle, sadly we have a couple of guests left. Karsh and Beowulf?
On behalf of the vast majority of Middle that isn't a complete joke, I'd like to apologize for Kresnik and Leon.
It's pretty bad when a Chrono Cross fighter is more of a badass than you in the character department. Seriously, our leader is Serge, for cryin out loud. Our best fighter is an undead fisherman who wears glasses. That's not a high standard to beat.
While I thank you for saving me the time of putting you down, why would you insult yourself and your castmates like that?
Let's just say that having Dario as a roommate for thirty five seasons really puts things in perspective. It's hard to ignore your shortfalls when you're forced to deal with him all the time.
Dario? Man, I'm so sorry. I'll try to make the fight quick. You've suffered more than enough.
*Snort* Unlike the rest of the losers in my cast, I actually have a good record and know how to fight. Don't count me out yet.
THe one thing we can agree on, is that the winner of your fight needs to beat the crap out of Leon and Kresnik.
Aye.
Which leaves us light. Let me see.. mm. A sleeping old man, an FF4 temp, and..bwhahaha. Nicolus?
Zzzz..
In fairness, he's asleep thanks to my Catclaw.
Got a problem, toots? I'm one of God's ten wise men. Didn't you and the rest of the filthy Nedians learn enough respect the first dozen times we ran over you?
That was when you were hiding behind your pathetic little shield. You take hits like a little girl and fight like one too.
Objection! I fight far better than that.
Yeah, yeah. Run your mouth brat. I have the powers of the universe on my side. When you're a pile of ash thanks to my magical assault, you'll know better.
As riveting as a Nicolus/Tim slapfight would be, can we actually interview someone with a notable personality? Our viewers are still suffering thanks to the Brig reject.
Jane and Shabon aren't in the building, which leaves us.. Miluda and Ard.
I'm interesting. The rebellion will never die.
Let's go with Ard.
HEY!
Ard. Ard ard ard?
*Laughs* Witty as ever, Ard. Though picking on Miluda's a bit of an easy target. What's your plans for overcoming Jane?
Ard. Ard!!!!
We will have to wait and see.
Ard ard ard!
Mmm, what? You're right, it's about time for the matches, we ran over this week. Ultros, turn off the camera. Let's go watch Nate and X-Death beat each other to a pulp.