 | In the name of Namco, Monolith and the Almighty Tria:
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 | Amen.
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 | You fools worship a false god. The almighty Dark Force shall obliterate the non-believers and usher in a new era of…ARGH MY EYES!
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| The light of our Lord shall lead you to salvation. Rite of Initiation!
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 | Televangelism…I cannot believe you fools would stoop so low. Especially on Christmas.
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| Chief, you’re a bit nicer than…well, ever! Finally in the Christmas spirit of things?
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| Nah, I think it’s mostly because she’s guaranteed to get a nice Christmas bonus this year. You know, like how we always get extra coal in our stockings from Mr. Nanjo.
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| Hah! I don’t get coal! I get something browner and softer! I’m more special than you all!
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| …no, I think Necron Claus just knows what you deserve a bit better than the rest of us.
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| Yay! Santa Necron loves me!
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| Christmas…again. ‘Tis the season for maiming and mauling, I suppose. But in addition to that, do you happen to know that we’ve been going on for Twenty-Five seasons now?
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| Really? Wow!
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| This niceness is still a bit odd. I think she’s up to something.
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| Most definitely. At least she can’t ruin my mood no matter what she does. I mean, I made it to Godlike after all! What could be more exciting than that!?
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| You’ll see. For now, let’s begin with the two Godlike guests we already have out here. Patriarch Sergius XVII and Zio, please sit down.
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| It is an honour, fellow devotees.
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| Bah humbug! Christmas is for the infidels who do not submit to the will of Dark Force!
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| Oh yeah? Does Dark Force bring you any presents for Christmas?
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| The souls of those who disobey!
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| No candy, or fruit, or cool remote-controlled cars?
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| The dark God has no need for such frivolous things! The power of Dark Force shall reign supreme, and devour all who…
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| He’s not going to stop, is he?
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| Nope! So, what about you, Popey? What do you do around Christmas time?
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| Bless things, mostly. Mmm…perhaps a blessing is in order for here as well. Come, boy! We need the sacred wine!
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 | *whimper*
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| Come, boy! Stop trying to cut that leash!
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| That’s wrong on so many levels.
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| Well, it makes sense: I had heard he was evil, manipulative and conniving, but he appeared so nice earlier. It’s good to see some things don’t change.
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| Indeed: all RPG religious leaders are evil and sick. It’s a law of the universe.
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| So, before the lawsuits start piling in, let’s move on to Heavy.
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| Wait, aren’t you going to complain she didn’t interview you, Ultros?
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| If I were expecting her to be nice to me? I would. But this is Chisato we’re talking about. She’s never been nice to any of us.
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| The calamari speaks the truth. So, on to Emperor Darkham and Popoi, our Heavy guests for Christmas tonight.
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 | Greetings, human and freaks.
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 | It’s great to be back in Heavy!
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| Such love.
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| So, Mr. Racist, even though I’m sure the answer is obvious, what do you have planned to do this Christmas?
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| Exterminate the Deimos. I have a secret psychological weapon that will bring their extinction about with little effort.
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| Oh, what could you possibly have that would take them out so easily?
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| Queen Brahne in a thong. I shall drop leaflets filled with Queen Brahne in a thong pictures all over their cities. Different poses, colours, everything you could imagine. They won’t be able to stand the site, blinding themselves or killing themselves relentlessly!
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| …
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| What a disturbing mental image.
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| Agreed. I wish I had stomach contents to wretch up.
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| Isn’t that a war crime? I could swear the Alexandria Accords outlawed the use of Queen Brahne as a weapon of war.
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| Remind me to add you to my Christmas Card list. That plan is delightfully evil. I salute you.
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| Back to normal, I see. Saluting the villains and punishing the heroes.
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| She hasn’t really punished a hero yyyyyyeeeeeeeettttttttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!
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| Ah, music to my ears.
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| So, let’s move on to the Middle troupe. Marisa and Mog, come on down!
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| Mmm…I’ve always wondered, but do Moogles actually celebrate Christmas?
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 | We do! Kupo!
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| What do you do?
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| I’m willing to bet they dance.
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| We do! Kupo! I’ll show you one! I call this the Cave Blues!
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| Get to high ground!
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| High ground? Why should I? It’s not like any harm can come from a daaaaaannnnnnnncccccccceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!
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| Well who didn’t see that coming?
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| Someone stop him!
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 | Sure.
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| Kupooooooooooo!!!!!!!! Argh!
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| Ow…perfect shot to the jugular. That’s some fine skill you’ve got there. I think that Middle championship is secured.
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| Indeed. That’s sine fancy sword work there.
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| On to the final set of guests! Hrist and Sid.
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 | Zzzzzz.
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| Hrist! What are you doing here? I thought I heard you and Odin talking about no battle before Valkyrie Profile 2 was ranked?
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 | I could not wait. It’s Christmas, the time we most need our Einherjar for the upcoming battles of Ragnarok. I shall begin with this fool here! Hiya!
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| Zzzzzz.
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| Well, I guess we’re fine as long as she doesn’t hit him.
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| Give it a few weeks.
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| What a wonderful Christmas episode. Sergius, would you like to say the Christmas blessing?
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| Of course. Come, boy!
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| *whimper*
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| On this most glorious of days, we give thanks to you, Almighty Tria, for the combat we are about to indulge in. Please strengthen us as we prepare to rend, slaughter, and devour our enemies. Bless those who choose not to fight today, and protect us all as we journey on in life. Amen.
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| Well, that was wonderful. Even poor Melville looks a little less sad and pained.
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| *whimper*
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| From all of us here at Behind the Scenes, have a wonderful Christmas! We’ll see you next week, when the destruction and mayhem return to normal levels!
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| Zzzzzz.
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| Come on, boy! Back to the church. We need to hang up the lights and light up the tree! And dress up for the Christmas party!
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| *whimper*
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Welcome back, signors! It is time for the Season 32! Truly, the last season was the most exciting, ay? This season proves to have even more passion than the last! But you can see what happened last week with the Results of that! Now then, let's move swiftly into this week!