Hail, minions. It is I, the great Dryst. That fool Morrie decided to not.. ah.. properly promote my Not Ranked duelling league, and thus he was punished with a sound thrashing. Summon monsters on -me-, will you? My Bahamut tought you the errors of your ways. I've decided to fill in while Morrie heals his monsters. Season 29's come to as pathetic an end as you'd expect, with Fou-Lu taking top honors. See how the epic DL vs ubergodlike battle turned out. Did the DL manage to hold off their foes? Did the Not Ranked League assist them? Check out all the Results, and see who's winning and who's crying like a little girl. I'll have to go hit those whiners later. Heh heh heh.. **Importantion information for newcomers! Please click This Link to go to a post made by our moderators that should hopefully answer several of your questions! If you have any more, simply feel free to go to the forums and ask!** We have quite the showing for you at the end of the season. With Fou-Lu crowned as double Godlike champion, this emperor can finally claim to be my equal. Truly an honor. Now that the ceremony and crying of the end of the season's over, we have the usual team match. Zophar seeks revenge against Fou-Lu, with the rest of his team. Mmmph. I wouldn't be worried if I were Fou-Lu, but Zophar has reinforcements and certainly looks like the type to throw a fit. A Zophar crying fit would be hideously ugly. My sympathies go out to the dragon god. The rest of the action this week is in our downgrade pools. Eighteen fighters spread out over three divisions fight to either upgrade or hold their own. Godlike has nothing but emo losers this week. Shion's love bot, Lloyd's emo teacher, a crying man who leads a special forces unit, and a boss lame enough to get owned by Edge. Of course, Angela is loser enough to show interest in Duran, and we all know that Raquel's not the toughest of girls. This should be an epic slapfight, worthy of belonging in the light pools. Heavy has my fellow Forsenian leader and all around dogooder Lance seeking to maintain his status in heavy against a field of fellow rejects and also rans. An elf that can't manage to get a date with Aguro, Rune's not Chaz love slave, and of course, the emo duo of doom from Final Fantasy. If Lance can't even manage a good showing here, I'll have to beat him up too for being such an embarassment. Then again, with Leah around, he might not be the dumbest person in the pool. Amazing. As always, Light lives up to it's billing. The epic slapfest that is Lezard vs Nicolus alone is worth watching. With a summoner that can't even manage to make his summons take hits for him, a girl who can't zip up her pants, and.. god. The rest is too depressing for even me to talk about. It's bad when Vaynard's latest flunky and Cray aren't the biggest failures in a light pool. Speaking of which, we have a pair of bonuses awaiting you as a reward for surviving such a week. We start with the inept adventures of the Norgard Defense Force, as they attempt to do something besides get owned by Zemeckis and Lance and actually mount a successful invasion. While the world of Shining Force may not be as tough as invading Iscalio, Max and Darksol have shown remarkable resilience in the face of mockery and beatings. The other bonus features another Movies for gamers.., featuring the world of Blade Runner. Take a look, I promise you won't be let down. See it all in the Arena for yourself. I won't waste any more words on this. On to what really matters. It's time to plug my Not Ranked league. Go there and vote now. From the sad mewlings of an Onix/Jin Uzuki slapfight in light, to Gustave the Steel trying to prove himself in godlike, the NR arena has something for everyone. Go now. Not Ranked glory awaits you. The Forums are open to new people as well. They'll give you all the respect you actually deserve. More than I will. Check it out now. Go! The Season 29 Week 6 Topic awaits. See the top minds of the forums argue and generally giggle about the pools. Not that I can blame them.. anyhow, go! **Have you ever wanted to take part in our Bonus Matches? Have you ever had a great idea you thought would make an awesome match? Well here's your chance! Just go to the Bonus Match Ideas Post and read all about it! Up next is the always epic Behind the Scenes. They're gearing up for season XXX. No, that isn't Chisato's shirt size, either. Go watch it. Now. Let me in, you bastards! It's nearly time for my season. Your season? Kid, I was born ready for it. I'll be the star of the show and finally get all the respect I deserve! You? Perverts? Hah. With the backing of Charmles and his vast fortune, I'll be more than able to buy any support I need to become the star of season XXX! Zidane Tribal shall have his day in the sun! ...Who let the cannon fodder in? Ultros, feel like giving a 16-bit ass whooping to this failure? Always. Time to die, Zidane! I always wanted to say that. Heh heh heh. This should be most amusing. I'll be running the show this week. Unless you have any objections, Nate? Nice to see my security was more interested in watching Ultros and Edge kick Zidane around the curb for the millioth time than let Dryst in. Sigh. Why do I even try? I'm going to go sit down and watch the carnage. Not like I care. Less work's nice. Argh! Bleeding won't stop! Brigandine rejects again? As if having Odin around wasn't bad enough. The last time Dryst hosted, I ended up pounded into bone marrow. I'm out of here. Some crew you are. Anyhow, welcome to Dryst's glorious interview shack. My first guests are the always pathetic Lights. Cray's boring, so we can skip him. Lezard, how does it feel to be runner up? Hey! Bwahahah. Lord Dryst knows talent when he sees it. The great Lezard Valeth may have been stopped by a lucky blow from Cray, but my plans to take over the DL and win the heart of my Valkyrie in place. My magics shall rend the very fabric of the universe into dust, but my touch will make Valkyrie scream with joy as soon as my true plan unfolds! In disgust, maybe. You have less success with women than Zidane does, and that says something. Loser Aesir, how dare you insult me! A few spells from my blessed fingertips are more than enough to dispatch you back to whatever hole you crawled out of. Prepare yourself! I feel a slight breeze. Shouldn't you be in a body cast by now? Wow. I return from beating Zidane down to Odin laying down verbal beatings? The show's hit a new low, and we wren't even halfway done. Hey, don't forget about meeeeeeeeeeeee! I didn't. I prepared a Brahne pit and the launch pad just for you, Edge. He won't be back for a while. Anyhow. Dryst? Appreciate your efforts, minion. Speaking of lowly creatures, where did Lezard go? I sneezed while Lezard was in the middle of preparing a spell. The impact knocked him clear out of the building. Clear into the Brahne pit with Edge. Looks like he knocked Edge back in just as he was climbing out. Ouch. Man. This is the second time in a year that Odin's owned someone. We need to stop inviting Lezard and the white haired loser back on the show. Invite? He usually worms his way past security. Who are we using as security this season, anyway? Jogurt and Jogurt. I picked them out myself. It saved Nate money! Surely he'll give us raises now. ..Remind me to never, ever let Odin do something without triplechecking first. Serves me right for hiring him in first place. Typical slander from such a lowly, jealous creature. You stole the mop and my chance at glory, Odin. Now you'll pay in blood for your crimes. Norgard shall not be denied such a promient spot and a chance to spread it's name to the DL faithful. Oh, you. Finally healed up after Zemeckis and Lance beat you up for your lunch money? Shut your filthy mouth. The glorious White Wolf shall not long stand for these insults. I shall take over Forsena, then the world! No army can stop me, and no fighter can deal with the perfect strikes from the master of the Wolf Fang. Oh hell no. One Brig loser hogging the camera is bad enough, but two? Ultros, it's time to beat this loser up and get our camera time back. It's my lucky day. I get to beat down more than one annoying blowhard on the show? I'm turning into Chisato. Tenacle! Ow. You think that can stop me? Ha. FOG! ...Idiot. Blinding an FF6 character. Well, if you want to play around with statuses, that's fine. Imp! Hey! No fair! Now the audience can't see my sexy face. And a good thing that is. We can't afford to be sued yet again for showing obscene material on the show. Whatever. Not like they won't be scarred enough by the usual violence and vicious ranting. You're lucky you're pretty enough to get away with saying that. Speaking of which, you remember Vaynard? He's the one who beat you in your first match. By a hair. If I had hit just a little harder.. but no matter. I owe him. Seems like the perfect time to collect my revenge. Middle's now nothing more than another title to add to my colection, and the only person who bested me and remains in the division stands in front of me. I just need someone to hit me hard enough to drop me down into limit range.. Hitting you leads to Vaynard suffering? Sounds good to me. Flame! Ouch. Thanks. Time to pay, Vaynard! Lionheart! ...Mommy... It looks like our Middle champ has made himself useful. Guess there's a first time for everything. While Vaynard gets slaughtered several times over, let's switch over to Heavy, where Angela awaits for her interview. Ohohohoho! It's good to be a champion. Angela, your cast certainly was one of the more controversial entries into the Duelling League in recent memory. After a strong showing from everyone but the always pathetic Duran, you've put some of those doubts to rest. How does it feel to not fail? It's great. The first season we were in netted us an amazing four entries, and my Heavy title. Some casts have yet to even get to the finals in spite of being here from the very beginning. The Seiken Densetsu 3 cast is here to stay, and we're going to be a force. I pity the rest of the DL when Carlie and Hawk get around to fighting. Great soundbite. If only all the guests were as well spoken. Next is Zoph- My time in the spotlight's over already? I can't believe it. My own castmakes mock me as a failure, and I get abused on this pathetic talk show. And yet you have the gall to invite a magic using failure like Zophar and treat him with respect? He lost to Fou-Lu. I could beat that pansy crossdressing dragon god with both hands tied behind my back. Right, Fairie? Hehe! Of course, Duran. You're the best. I renounce my loyality to such a pathetic thing as my SD3 castmates. From now on, I only serve King Vaynard and the Norgard Defense Forces. Vaynard, let us go and bring about an ideal world. ..King Vaynard? Where are you? ... NEARLY DEAD, LIKE YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE. MOCK THE DESTROYER, WILL YOU? Ha. Like I fear you. If I can stop Koren, what makes you think a pathetic loser like you can dare match me in direct combat. Come and face your doom! PREPARE TO DIE. Hey. My sword slashes don't seem to bother him.. what's that giant purple globe of energy coming at m- And thus ends the most one sided fight in BtS history. Not the stupidest, as I'm sure Odin's done much worse. Heh heh heh. You have to admit, that was funny. Chisato, want to wrap it up? I'm going to celebrate Vaynard getting beaten down yet again. No matter how common the event may be, it's always worth noting. Sure, why not. Looks like enough people were interviewed to count as a show. We can wrap up and enjoy another successful season. ;_; Duran. I'll go get some help after this nap. Let me just get back in your head and rest up fir- *crunch* Hah! Finally got that stupid oversized fly. Guingnir the almighty mop never fails me. Let me just wring out the mop and throw away the dirty water with the fly.. That's a record. Not only did Odin own someone, he did his job correctly. I'm signing off before something really strange happens. Thou doth ignore the double Godlike champion? Get used to it. I win three matches in a row where I'm favored to lose, and I don't even rate an interview in the final two weeks. I know the feeling. Oh well. Let's go have a drink at my bar. You two coming? Why not? I'm feeling like a new adventure. ^_^ Hey, girls! Don't forget me! Girls? ..Damn. Season XXX is off to an early start. Fou-Lu gets the girls, and I get ignored after escaping the horrors of the Brahne pits and Lezard rants. Sigh. Hey, this camera's still on. Maybe I can use it for something usef-