 | Bwa ha ha! Finally! With the others out of the way, I'll finally get back to my role as lead sidekick, and from there... endorsements! Odin Brand mops, Odin O's, Odin: The Musical! It's the dream of a lifetime...
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 | ...and it can be yours, if the price is right.
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| You! But you're supposed to be trapped in the pit! Chisato said it was filled with unspeakable horrors.
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| Oh, come on, Moppy. I'm made of tougher stuff than that. Sure, I'd much rather never go there again... ever... but I can deal with it. I can deal with it. I can deal with it.
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| But my plans! My job! My action figures!
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 | Relax, Odin. Gilgamesh and Ultros called in sick from the asylum, so I need another sidekick for the program. Get to makeup - you're going in.
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| Oh, huzzah, my big break! Toodles.
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| Do you ever wonder how Odin ever became Lord of the Aesir?
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| I always chalked it up to hanging chads. Anyway, since there's no way we're going to actually wait for him, let's get started. Welcome to Behind the Scenes, the show where... Morte, a snappy line, please.
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| Behind the Scenes, ninety-nine percent irritation, one percent information.
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| That'll do. I'm your host, Chisato Madison, and with me is Morte. On today's show, we take a look at our twenty-second champions and runner-ups, the good, the bad, the ugly.
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| Naturally, most of them are in the third category.
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| First up is Light, with champion Flare en Kuldes, and runner-up Sheena Fujibayashi.
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 | Hello.
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 | Hi.
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| Then again, you're both boring, so moving on...
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| Hey! I'm not boring!
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| Don't you mean we're not boring?
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| I meant what I said.
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| How dare you!
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| Aw, is poor widdle pwincess gonna cry?
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| No, "poor widdle pwincess" is going to kick your...
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 | Take it off camera, unless...
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| Unless you want to take it off on camera?
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| I was going to say unless they want to pay for the damages.
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| Spoilsport.
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| Anyway, while tempers flare, so to speak, we'll take on Middle. Please welcome Marle and Worker 8.
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 | Hiya.
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 | Beep boop.
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| Another great season, Marle, but another one without a title and a loss at the hands of a FFT character yet again. It has to be a bit disappointing.
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| I don't know. I made the finals, and that means I have a chance to go join my snugglemonkey in Heavy.
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| So you and Ayla, huh?
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| No, I meant Crono, silly.
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| So you hold no ill will towards Worker 8?
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| Heavens no. In fact, I offered him the chance to become Daddy's new cook.
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| Affirmative.
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| At first, we were just going to copy his cooking program and put it in one of Lucca's invention thingies, but he didn't want to let us have access to his brain.
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| Affirmative.
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| So Worker will let Lucca watch him cook, and try to explain what he's thinking or something like that. Then Lucca will make her own cooking robot, and it'll slice and dice and make jeweled fries. At least, that's what I think she said.
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| Correction: Julienne.
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| See? He's so helpful, especially when he's not trying to make my head explode.
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| I don't know about that. After all, he's using words with multiple syllables.
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| Thank you, Marle. Now, Worker 8, it's not often that one can say they followed the path of Justin and have that a compliment.
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| Affirmative.
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| So, how does a giant robot celebrate a championship?
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| Gato will accompany me to an establishment for consuming poison, where we will attempt to lift baby birds.
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| Wait, so you're going to a bar to pick up chicks?!
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| Affirmative. Gato stated that we are "two wild and crazy guys".
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| Ugh, robots. I hate them so much.
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 | You have it easy, skull. Think of the women they proposition.
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 | I believe he does quite often.
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| I'd berate you for starting before I introduced you, but I just got the mental image of Gato in a pimp hat and I'm in no shape to be angry. So hello, Lulu and Kratos.
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| Greetings.
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| Mmm.
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| So close, Kratos. At least you can take solace that you did better than Lloyd.
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| Pfft. The boy should have won. He has the skills to do it, it's just that he's soft.
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| Then why did you lose?
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| It's hard to return to a training regimen if you're layed up in the medical wing!
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| Making excuses? I thought that was beneath you.
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| I refuse to get into this with you.
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| Good idea, you'd probably lose. What's next for you?
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| Training harder. I will not lose again.
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| That remains to be seen. Now, Lulu, you're the latest in a long line of Spiran champions. Why do you think you've been so successful, while other groups have not?
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| It's the clean living and the fresh air.
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| Really?
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| It could be. Of course, it could also be the giant creature of destruction that forced us into battle for a millennia. But who can tell?
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| Of course. Now, our final guests are Seymour Guado and Myria. Hello.
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 | This cannot be happening! My marriage, my title, my everything!
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 | Oh, cease your whining.
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| Yes, this has been a bad week for you, hasn't it, Seymour?
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| It is an outrage! To have ascended the heights of joy, only to go crashing into the depths of despair!
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| Yes, your agony is like a flowing river of pain and sorrow and no fluffy bunnies. We get it.
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| You do have to admit that Lady Yuna was not particularly pleased with the arrangements.
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| What do I care about what Yuna wants? It's my happiness that matters. Mine!
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| Such a spoiled child. It's a wonder he managed to reach a position of power anywhere.
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| Power isn't always put in the hands of those best equipped to deal with it, right?
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| I hope you're not trying to insinuate that I...
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| Of course not. So, once again a Godlike Champion. Going to lord it over Deis?
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| Of course. It always amuses me.
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| Ah, sibling rivalry. That's it for our show. I'm Chisato Madison. Goodbye.
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| I'm back, and ready to star! ...Chisato? Morte? Anybody? ... Hello? |
Glorious Day, my fellow defenders! The results are in and the DL now has our new season champions! Three cheers for them, they worked hard to get all the way here!