I'm gald to see you've returned, brave and courageous Defenders of Earth! Welcome back to a very special week: the beginning of a new season of rankings! In addition to the wonderfully exciting and breath-taking matches in Week Three, you'll also have the chance to tell us what games you'd like to see ranked next! So on with the show! Your first stop should be Last Week's Results, dear readers. I bet you're dying to know if the heroic Ash Lambert took down the masterful mage Albert Simon, or if the brave and resourceful wrestling vampire Joachim Valentine was able to purify Middle of the dreaded kurse of Alma, the vessel of St. Ajora's evil. Tarry not, dear readers - time is of the essence! Speed onward toward The Main Event, where all the action this week is heating up! Light is a primary focus this week, as Star Reporter Chisato Madison celebrates her first quarter-finals match! Show your support for her, fellow Defenders of Earth, as she fights the good fight against Alanis, star singer and one-time Dogma God. Will the power of the pen defeat what Alanis has in store for this famed reporter? Middle's ablaze, as the flaming pokemon Charizard fights against the windy mage Crowley. Will Crowley only be fanning the fires of defeat, or will he be able to put out the monster dragon's flames? Heavy's home to much stoning this week, as two highly trained professionals on the subject go head to head to figure out who is the better master of Medusa's lost art: Lenny Curtis, one of Rasputin's finest, or Jecht, Blitzball star and drunkard extraordinaire. Don't look them in the eyes, though: there's sure to be plenty of lawn ornaments after this match is done! Last but not least, Godlike is home to a battle between two of Final Fantasy's finest: Kefka and Sephiroth. These two titans clash together in what is sure to be one of Godlike's finest battles. Will the one-winged angel overwhelm the two-winged angel? These are fights you can't miss, Defenders! Hurry onward! With ranking season now underway The RPGDL Forums would be something smart to sign-up for! After all, wouldn't you like to show some support for your favourite game getting ranked? Don't hesitate, as this is sure to be a highly contested season for ranking choices! Due to Miss Madison's battles this week, her co-hosts will be taking control of Behind the Scenes this weel, so please give them your undivided attention to the matter at hand: Ah…another week. And also another week with no Chisato to lead us. Such a shame. I mean, all these poor, defenseless fools to make fun of. She’ll be sorely angered to have missed this. Sorely angered? She’s on the guest list, isn’t she? “Was”. You’d be surprised what Gilgamesh can do with a computerized list of names and locations in an airline database. She should be arriving in San Salvadore any minute now. Devious. Uwheheheheheheheh! No Chisato to torture this week either? Nope. Deal with it! Speaking of which…welcome to Behind the Scenes! All expressed opinions in this show do not represent the writer, staff, or other members of the RPGDL’s opinions. With the disclaimer out of the way, let’s open up to our first guests tonight. Let’s bring out Alanis and Aeris, our two star Lights this week! Mmmm…what should we ask these two? I think the impalement jokes are old for Aeris, and we really don’t have any new material for her either. Oh, I’ve got plenty to talk about! Oh? Like what? I’m writing a novel. Romance novel? Yep. Romance novel slash murder mystery. It all starts when this cute guy with spikey hair jumps off a train, and rescues this fair maiden. But then this girl with brown hair and an oversized chest butts in and tries to… No, that’s not exactly a romance novel. More like an auto-biography. Oh, there’s plenty of romance. You see, once the man gets the maiden back to his house… Aye, ratings, people. Get this girl off the set! Can…can you imagine that? She was really going to go through all the gory details… I was actually looking forward to that. You don’t count. Alanis? No, we don’t want her to speak either. Different reason, though: ever seen Dogma? The one with Dawson, right? … … Odin…you fail. Middle! Welcome, Dalton and Odessa! Haha! I have returned, victorious like the king should be! All hail King Dalton! Oh, Dalton, I have a message from Chisato for you. Oh, what is iiiiiiiiittttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!! You didn’t deserve to beat Bowman. Next! So, Odessa…well, recently ranked, now you got a chance in. And you’re likely to make it to the finals, and even slated by some for a championship followed by an upgrade. So, if you could throw a party with any 3 people, who would they be? …what does that have to do with anything? Well, General Patton, Queen Elizabeth I and Geroge Burns. Interesting combination. Any reason? Well, I love men in uniform, Elizabeth was a great leader, and George Burns was just funny. Alright. And now for the pertinent question: think you can beat Joachim? Yes. But not that Great Question guy…he’s too freaky. Point duly noted. Next up are the Heavy guests: come on out Jecht and Generic Hero! … Well, Jecht? How’s the…. *Hic* Well, that was fast: a drunkard who finally hit his limit, and the usual silent hero. You think even with Chisato gone, we’d find competent guests, but I guess not.. What about Godlike? Uwhehehehehehe! My turn! Dumb clown. I hate clowns. Any particular reason? Bad first birthday party when I was younger. So that means you’re afraid of Bozo here? No: unlike Bozo, Kefka doesn’t have a red nose. Defining feature of a clown, I guess. Uwhehehehehehe! Come on, ask me how I’ll win this week! Ask me how I’ll take the championship I so rightly deserve! Alright: Kefka, how are you going to lose horribly this week? You dare question my power? So be it! I will end you all here and now! No you won’t! Now, who here sent me out of the country, and where are they?? Kefka. The clown. Freakshow over there. So, you think you can take me? Bring it on, Miss Reporter Light! Warm-up time. You know, if she’s that good of a fighter, why is she in Light, and why didn’t she win a championship before? It’s always been bothering me. Plot Power. She can’t really use it in the arena, since it involves being on TV. Heh, poor Chisato, probably relegated to Light for eternity, and yet possibly the strongest fighter here. Well, that’s the short show for you all this week. Tune in next week, when we unravel the mystery of whether Chisato’s power is actually related to the time of the month! I heard that! No expositions on me! Argh! My wing! Now I look like that freak Sephiroth! You vile wench! Stop it! Well, if you need another wing, join the Tales of Symphonia cast: everyone has wings there. And that’s enough banter for tonight. Good fight, good night!