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Atma Weapon vs Persephone Naesala vs Elvis Akihiko Sanada vs Adell Onix vs Bard
Week 6 - Postseason




Atma Weapon (FF6) Atma Weapon vs Persephone Persephone (WA5)

Jo'ou Ranbu

Once again, the chaos stirred through the arena, battered and trampled by what seemed to be the signs of an intense struggle. Among the pink hearts, dense sparkling rainbow mist, tattered white feathers and torn blue skirts, a shred of a pink glove could be seen... only to be stepped mercilessly on by an imposing figure stood tall, roaring and rampaging as it levelled the few survivors left and it flailed... its giant, shining sailor uniform?

More importantly, two people were riding atop the fearsome monstrosity. The usually somber-looking male tightly grasped the giant reins, panicking. "AAAAAAARGH! EXCELLEN! ARE YOU SURE YOU PLANNED THIS OUT?"

"Oh, don't worry, Kyo! I'm just steering Sailor Atma Weapon towards the Shirogane and the Weissy will pick us up!", the young blonde pilot yelled cheerfully as she madly steered Atma Weapon, profoundly humiliated and enraged over being turned into a Sailor... Something.

"... WHAT? ARE YOU INSANE? LEE WILL CHEW US OUT FOR -"

Excellen rolled her eyes as her exhasperated boyfriend panicked. "Oh, come -on-, like we care. It's almost as if riding a giant beast makes you suddenly dumb, Kyo."

Kyosuke coughed. "You heard nothing. But, Excellen. Didn't Atma Weapon have a match in the arena? I mean, you -know- that the Not Ranked league isn't your toy to play with, right?"

The blonde giggled nonchalantly. "Oh, nobody cares. Atma trampled Persephone midway through her Cosmic Make-up Transformation and was given the victory by default. And the result... well, here we are, cacklingg two birds with one stove! Now, now, Atmy! Ram that battleship GOOD!"

And, as Excellen gleefully finished her sentence, the monstrous creature ran through the fields of Not Ranked. Nobody ever knew how in heck did she manage to put Atma under a Cosmic Make-Up spell. And Kyosuke realized it was better not to ask.

Atma Weapon: 13
Persephone: 9




Naesala (FE9) Naesala vs Elvis Elvis (WA5)

Cryo

Naesala's research into Elvis' life (via spies and other nefarious means) was nigh-perfect. Eating habits, sleeping tendencies, combat styles, propensity to slap himself silly over things related to his adopted daughter, and even voting history.

Such a masterfully executed study of every facet of Elvis existence... completely wasted as the Lord of the Ravens simply tore the sentinel to shreds with attacks too fast for the eye to follow. No one ever said the sly Raven King NEEDED to be duplicitous to get what he wanted.

Naesala: 16
Elvis: 4




Akihiko Sanada (P3) Akihiko Sanada vs Adell Adell (Dis2)

Jo'ou Ranbu

They traded furious blows, danced like the wind, shattered the earth with their flurry of fists. Or so would Akihiko and Adell, considering they're both skilled pugilists and the common sense of Occam's Razor.

However, we at the Not Ranked League like to consider the Occam's Razor as nothing more than a can to be kicked to the curb, and Akihiko and Adell had to decide their match via dancing the Blue Danub in pink tutus with Chansey as the dancing partner.

In the end, after innumerable footstomps, background stumbling and generic hilarity hijinks, Akihiko was declared the winner solely by virtue of looking prettier in a tutu.

Chansey, meanwhile, sued the Not Ranked Middle Committee for needless abuse, and won a lifetime supply of softboiled eggs. We all know who the true winner was.

Akihiko Sanada: 15
Adell: 5




Onix (PKMN) Onix vs Bard Bard (FFT)

Orson

The bard had it coming. The bard will always have it coming. If there's one lesson that life teaches, PAINFULLY, its this: You will NEVER stop the rock. Especially when all it needs to do is crush you with them.

Onix: 28
Bard: 13